The Sad Truth
by Miss Inadequate
Summary: Emotionality and angst spring forward as an old Ham gets a glimpse of the inevitable and frightening changes in her growing former best friends and tries to revert them back.
1. The Intro

**The Sad Truth  
**Aka: Ham-Hams Grown Up  
_Revised Edition  
_ **Author's Note:** _This is a brief introduction to the story that is ahead. Please read, and hopefully enjoy._  
  
**Chapter 1: The Intro.**  
  
"Lights, camera, action!" was the voice of the cameraman getting ready to shoot another episode of the hit reality show, Real Thing. The hamster aimed the camera so it'd shoot center view of the host, a brown energetic hamster, ready to start the show. The lights blinked on and the usual introduction music to the show played.  
  
The brown hamster smiled professionally. "Good afternoon," she said into the camera, in a talk show voice. "Welcome to another edition of the Real Thing. Today we will be looking into the incredible lives of the once loved and famed hamsters. They may of look happy on camera on their hit TV show Hamtaro, but now seeing them today you can see the perfect fake life behind the camera is nothing compared to their real lives of today. So sit back, relax, and enjoy our hidden camera's footage of the Real Thing: The Real Life of the Ham-Hams." She looked to the screen ready to reveal the footage their secret cameras shot.


	2. The Morning Issues

**Chapter 2: The Morning Issues**

**Author's Note: **_I'm sorry for some of the language and disturbing parts in this chapter. Enjoy...I guess..._  
  
The once tidy clubhouse was a mess, as an overweight huge hamster was seen digging through some papers, looking for something. The door to the place opened and in entered a stylish white hamster, her hair flipped out on the ends and in a side ponytail. She wore two cute hoops earrings, one in each ear. Her eyelashes stuck out as beauty seemed to be one of her gifts. One of her only gifts. She frowned looking around at the messy clubhouse. "Geez, can't you clean this place?" she asked in a foreign accent. It was pretty obvious she was French. She blinked once or twice awaiting the other hamster's answer.  
  
"Huh?" the huge hamster turned around to reveal a pretty ugly face. His thick eyebrows crossed, looking mad as ever, his mouth shaped in its usual frown. "Yo Bijou!" he said, sounding a bit drunk. It had been obvious he had been getting on the beers again. "Want some lovin'?" he asked, winking in a rather flirty manner.  
  
The white hamster immediately shook her head. "Eww no. Don't tell me you've been drinking beer again. Do you know what that can do to you?" She rolled her eyes, remembering the second part of the speech. How disgusting.  
  
The hamster frowned. "Well who asked ya?" he said, turning away. He was pretty easy to get mad, having the short temper he did. A huge medallion hung around his neck as he slipped his sunglasses on.  
  
The white hamster rolled her eyes and made her way to the table, just barely. Everything was on the floor; from empty beer bottles to dirty pairs of underwear. It certainly wasn't the ideal place to hang. She blinked once or twice, sighing to herself. "Bijou, Bijou, how could you ever hang with such bad friends," she said to herself with remorse.  
  
Just then the door swung open. "Oh gosh!" exclaimed the voice of a punk hamster. Her fur was full of different color streaks, produced by dye. She wore a spike bracelet on each paw's wrist, along with a sweatband. She narrowed her eyes, full of dark colored eye shadow.  
  
"What is it this time?" Bijou asked, eyeing the punk hamster and sighing. That girl always had problems.  
  
The hamster made her way next to Bijou. "My damn owner abandoned me. Damnit. That's the third one. Grr..."  
  
"Calm down Pashmina!" Bijou exclaimed. "I'll help you find a home. If I can..." she muttered in disgust. "And stop cussing!" she snapped. Geez, that stupid hamster could get on her nerves sometimes.  
  
Pashmina looked over at the other hamster, still rapidly digging through his stuff. "Darn, what's his problem?"  
  
"STOP!" Bijou yelled, hating her fellow Ham-Ham's close-to cussing. "Gosh!" She said, getting frustrated. She asked nicely...at least she thought.  
  
"Shut up you stupid punk," the huge hamster yelled, in fury. He had a short temper. He threw a broken beer bottle at her, just barely missing her. "Gosh Pashmina!" he exclaimed. He looked over at Bijou lovingly. "Now, sweetheart, that punk hamster won't bother you anymore."  
  
Bijou rolled her eyes. "Boss I am NOT your sweetheart." She said, trying to get her voice to sound American. "Don't you EVER call me that!"  
  
Boss sighed and started cussing to himself. "Come on Bijou! Give your rap dog a chance!" he begged, seating himself next to her.  
  
She held her noise. Boss had a stupid body odor...a very unpleasant one. She moved down a seat. "Err....no." she simply answered, looking back at Pashmina.  
  
Pashmina laughed. "Ha ha! Gosh damn hamster can't even get himself a date!"  
  
"Stop cussing!" Bijou exclaimed again.  
  
Boss threw another beer bottle at her. "Yeah you bitch!"

"BOSS!" Bijou said aggravated. "Gosh! Stop okay!?"  
  
Pashmina frowned. "Fine." She said to Bijou, turning away. "Bitch." She muttered.  
  
"Sorry baby," Boss said.  
  
"Grr...I'm not your sweetie, honey, or baby!" Bijou said to Boss, still annoyed.  
  
"Then what are you sugar cakes?" Boss asked, sweetly.  
  
"I'm JUST Bijou!" the white hamster said. "No, I will NOT date you, I NEVER will! You're disgraceful. You're over weight and you smell like dirty gym socks. Your house's a mess and I can't TAKE being around you! I HATE you!" She let out, panting at the end. She covered her mouth, realizing what she just said.  
  
"Oh Bijou are YOU in trouble," Pashmina said with a smirk.  
  
Boss stood shock struck from the outburst. Bijou? Hating him? He looked upset. "I-I..." he shuddered and immediately left the clubhouse...maybe never to be heard from again.  
  
Pashmina held her nose. "Gosh this place smells like a gym locker."  
  
The doors to the clubhouse opened once again, letting in two gay lovers, holding hands. Who was it? It was no other than Howdy and Dexter.  
  
Pashmina burst out laughing. "Look...it's the gay ones!"  
  
"Shut the heck up Pashmina," Howdy said in his Western accent. "Me 'n my sweet Dexy here have plans for gettin' married this October." He finished.  
  
Dexter smiled fondly at Howdy, and they took a seat next to each other. Bijou looked disgusted. Getting married? To each other? They were both men for Pete's sake!  
  
"You two are so gay," Pashmina said, looking away.  
  
"Aren't you a little..." Bijou hesitated. "Young for marriage?"  
  
"We're in love; we won't be affected by a thing. Will we Howdy?" Dexter asked, staring deeply into Howdy's eyes.  
  
"No won't Dexter." Howdy said staring back.  
  
Bijou looked sick. "Could you err..." she hesitated. "Do that somewhere else?"  
  
"Sure," Howdy said taking Dexter's hand. "Let's go into our love den,"  
  
"Oh Howdy you're TOO much!" Dexter exclaimed following.  
  
Now Bijou looked ever worse. "Ohmigosh," she said, about to throw up.  
  
"Yeah I know," Pashmina said. "It's so disgusting."  
  
The two watched the couple leave. But that was nothing to what was to happen next. The door swung open and in ran an orange hamster with brown stripes. She looked shocked, and horrified. "Ohmigosh!" she exclaimed. "Ohmigosh, ohmigosh!"  
  
"What's wrong?" Bijou asked.  
  
"Oh gosh! I can't believe it! I screwed up big time!" she said, about to burst into tears.  
  
"What's wrong Sandy?" Pashmina asked, confused.  
  
"I'm pregnant that's wrong!" Sandy exclaimed. "Oh gosh! Me and Maxwell had too much fun! Shit...just shit!" She started crying.  
  
"Ohmigosh Sandy," Bijou said, patting the poor hamster's back. "You're married right?"  
  
"No we're only engaged, but Maxwell's totally going to abandon me after he finds out." Sandy started crying even louder. "I'm such a idiot. I can't believe I did that, I just can't believe it."  
  
"He's the father right?" Pashmina asked.  
  
"Well yeah, who else?" Sandy said, still crying her eyes out. "I don't wanna be a teenage mom!"  
  
"You have to tell Maxwell this," Bijou said with a concern look on her face.  
  
Pashmina nodded. "Yeah. You just gotta."  
  
Sandy sobbed even louder. "I don't wanna tell Maxwell! I don't ever. I don't ever wanna face him, I want my Mommy!" she cried.  
  
"Take a chill pill Sandy," Pashmina said, with a concerned voice. "You need to calm down."  
  
"THE PILL DOESN'T WORK!" Sandy screamed, banging her head down the table.  
  
"Well yeah, there's no such thing as a chill-" Pashmina was interrupted.  
  
"Not the chill pill Birth Control!" Sandy cried. "I've been taking it for over six months and it didn't work. It just didn't!" she sobbed.  
  
Bijou's eyes widen. All these problems...all happened to her friends. This was unbelievable. Just unbelievable. What was Maxwell going to say? What happened to the happy lives they once live? Why was all this happening? It was overwhelming. But there was more to that...  
  
Pashmina sighed. "Calm down Sandy, you just gotta calm down."  
  
"I wanna die!" the orange hamster exclaimed.  
  
"No you don't," Bijou said in a comforting manner. "Things'll get better."  
  
"I made the biggest mistake of my life!" Sandy said. "Things WON'T get better. I'm killing myself...that's official." She ran out of the clubhouse still in tears.  
  
Bijou sat in shock. Sandy? Killing herself? Hopefully she was kidding. Pashmina saw it too. It was unbelievable. Sandy was worse than her.  
  
The two sat there, over-whelmed. All these problems...it was horrible. Just horrible. They sat alone, watching the morning suddenly turn into afternoon.

****

**A Final Note:** _Thanks for reading! Reviews would be appreciated. Sorry for spelling and grammer mistakes if there are any. _


	3. The Lunch Brigade

**Chapter 3: The Lunch Brigade  
******

**Author's Note: **_Thank you so much for reviewing guys! I didn't think you'd really like the story! Thank you a million billion for the positive feedback! Just so you know, this is my first story too! As for this chapter, a bit of it may seem a bit dumb but...oh well. All for humor, all for humor._  
  
The two sat there for an hour more, until they could hear their stomachs growl. They were hungry, and it made sense too. It was 12 pm, which was their usual feeding time. Everyone came for lunch. It was their socialization period. Those who had trouble coming in the morning had no trouble in the afternoon. Bijou looked over at the door, hoping someone else would join them; someone that didn't have the problems the morning gang did.  
  
The door finally swung open, letting in an orange hamster looking similar to Sandy in. "Heya babe!" he said, making his way over to Bijou and kissing her on the cheek.  
  
Bijou just blushed. It was Stan, the flirty Stan. He was at least pampered, and not to mention pretty attractive. She sighed for a minute, knowing she was just another face in the crowd. He was the most suitable of the guy ham- hams, having no serious problems except for his little longings for making out with anyone. Anyone being the key word. Anyone pretty. And seeing, she was the only real attractive girl ham-ham she seemed to be his main target. Pashmina was pretty ugly and scary and Sandy was his sister...and engaged. How wrong would it be to make out with her?  
  
Stan smiled. "So how are you Pashy?"  
  
"Shut the hell up Stan." Pashmina replied.  
  
"Glad to see you're nice. Anyhow, Bijou, baby, wanna go out on a date tonite?" Stan asked the white hamster, giving her a flirty wink.  
  
Bijou smiled back. She wasn't too good at being flirty...but then again she never tried. Oh well...better now than never. "Of course cutie," she replied, finding she had a talent with it, even as it being her first time. "Anything for you,"  
  
"So I see you're trying flirting out," Stan said, "Well you chose the right ham, doll."  
  
Bijou smiled. "Did I?" She said, fluttering her eyelashes.  
  
"Oh god you frickin' fools!" Pashmina exclaimed. "You're all so damn stupid!"  
  
Bijou stopped short. "Oh sorry," she said. "And stop cussing," she added quickly.  
  
Stan sighed. "Pashmina, Pashmina, Pashmina. Let your friend flirt if she oh-so desires." He shook his head, eyeing Bijou.  
  
Pashmina shook her head stubbornly. "You all are so wacked."  
  
Bijou smiled. "Am I?" she asked, still a bit flirty. "Or are you?"  
  
"Nice come back, Bijou, honey," he winked.  
  
Bijou giggled, but to her surprise she felt a slap, a hard slap...from Pashmina. "God damn you Bijou," she said, hating to see any form of romance OR flirting.  
  
"Sorry..." Bijou said in an annoyed tone.  
  
The door swung opened again, to a very skinny hamster. Could it be? His gray spots looked dull and faded, and he looked very unhealthy. "Hi guys," he said softly, walking in rather weakly.  
  
"Ohmigosh Oxnard!" Bijou said. "Don't tell me you've been skipping meals again!"  
  
"I-I haven't," he said. It was pretty obvious he was fibbing. He was all fur and bones. He was as thin as a pencil...maybe thinner. It had all started a while back when he was a little on the chubby side. Boss had commented on his obesity and one thing led to another. He started dropping breakfast and then...all other meals. No snacks and if he did eat he'd secretly throw the food up. He was a horror, a very depressing site. All the other Ham-Hams were concerned for his safety but he wouldn't let anyone help. He was too deep in his conflict...this conflict becoming deadly.  
  
Bijou's eyes softened with concern. "Oxnard, have a sunflower seed. For all our sakes," she said, offering him one from a stack of many.  
  
Oxnard took it and frowned, looking at it. At this point Pashmina couldn't contain herself. "LOOK AT YOURSELF YOU DAMN ANERXOIC!" she yelled. "You're thinner than a pencil; you can barely walk or do anything. You're worst than before! Don't you see it? We all have damn problems. But yours is getting out of paw!" she screamed, looking at the shivering hamster. Pashmina's words scared him.  
  
"Pas-Pashmina..." he said, his body trembling with fear. Her scary eyes were placed upon him, as he started shaking even more.  
  
"You heard me you damn idiot. Eat." Pashmina simply said, looking away. Stan and Bijou sat in astonishment. They switched concern glances, as Stan stood up.  
  
"You have to eat, dude." He said simply. "If you wanna make it out okay ya gotta stop skippin' meals." He looked Oxnard straight in the eye and took his maracas out. He shook them once or twice, waiting for the terrified hamster's reply.  
  
Oxnard looked around, nervously. "I-I-I..." he hesitated, searching for the right words to use. "I gotta go..." he said, walking out weakly, right before collapsing near the door. He laid flat on the ground motionless, panting for a breath.  
  
"Oxnard!" Bijou exclaimed, running over to him. "Ohmigosh! Say something Oxnard!" she demanded. But it was useless...the thing was knocked out. "Oxnard?" she asked, once more. She panicked, staring back at Stan and then to Pashmina. "Someone's gotta help him!" she exclaimed, holding back her tears. There before her...could this all be real? All her friends...with so many problems...what happened to the happy carefree days of childhood? They were all over...everyone changed. Including her. She hesitated, even she had lost her manners and obtained a rather snobby at times attitude. She was an over achiever...and people made fun of her for that. She couldn't help she liked everything to be neat and tidy. She couldn't help herself being a perfectionist and a spoiled princess. She was treated much more elegantly in comparison to all her other Ham-Ham friends. She couldn't help she lived in a big nice mansion and came from France with a rich family. She couldn't help her ribbon was always shiny and her paws were always over pampered. Why make fun of that?  
  
Pashmina looked a bit shock struck. Had Oxnard's problems really gone out of hand? Is this what happened to those that had eating disorders? She, herself, never really skipping a chance for more food, or getting addicted on drugs like Boss did, just stood before everyone else, her eyes wide open. A tear fell down her cheek, having just realized the problems she had with herself. This punk stuff...the cussing it just had to stop. She had to get her life back on track, and she needed help doing it. For once, she needed guidance and love. She needed compassion. She needed help. She went over to the mirror looking at her color dyed fur. What had happened? She used to be so good. She wandered to the corner of the clubhouse and took out a box. She opened it and wiped a tear. In it was a pink scarf and a picture, of her first owner June. Why did June have to die? Why did her whole family have to die from a horrible ice cream truck accident? Why did she have to be left abandoned? Why was life so unfair? She sat down in the corner and started sobbing to herself. She had everything...and she lost it all.  
  
Oxnard still laid there, almost begging for help. His eyes watered as he held the sunflower seed Pashmina had given him close. Was these his last moments of life? He used to be so happy, munching on stacks and stacks of sunflower seeds at a time. But now he was limited...he was only doing this to himself. He watched the blurred version of Bijou run around panicked, while Stan, still laid back rushed over to the phone calling someone to help. He didn't see Pashmina anywhere; which sort of confused him.  
  
Bijou noticed the sobbing Pashmina in a corner. What was wrong now? She sat next to her, and offered her a tissue. "Why are you crying?" she asked her, in a comforting voice.  
  
"I lost everything!" the hamster cried, undoing her spike bracelets and wiping away the smeared mascara. "I lost June, I lost my home, and I've even lost all my friends!" she said. "I don't know what I'm going to do; I'm really scared." She looked at Bijou, practically begging for help.  
  
"What did you lose?" Bijou asked. Pashmina had never told any of them what really happened, or why she went punk. Bijou tilted her head, letting her ponytail hang.  
  
"June died." Pashmina said, wiping her tears. "She and her family died in a horrible ice cream truck accident." She started sobbing even louder. "That's why I'm depressed, that's why I gave up on everything." She took out the pink scarf and held it close to herself. "This is all I have."  
  
"No, that's not true," Bijou said comforting to poor thing. She had a huge amount of pity for it. "Why don't you take a bath, and washed that dye?" she asked, escorting her friend to the shower. "Come out, and we can talk. We can all talk." She offered Pashmina her pink scarf. "Put this on too."  
  
Pashmina nodded, and let out a small smile. "Thanks Bijou," she wiped a tear. "You've given me the one thing I need: a true friend." She went in, as the white hamster rushed back to Oxnard. That was one problem solved. But only one out of the many that surrounded her.  
  
Stan shook his maracas impatiently. He doubted Oxnard could wait much longer. He needed help and now! He stood watching the door, hoping the help he had called for would soon arrive. To his shock, the doors immediately swung open letting in a group of hamsters with red crosses on their hops. They grabbed Oxnard and saluted, promising the two other ham-hams he'd be in good care.  
  
Stan looked back to Bijou, and walked towards her, wiping the tear from her eye. "Don't cry babe," he said, with a concern glance. "Everything'll be okay."  
  
Bijou couldn't contain herself any longer. She burst into tears, holding on tightly to Stan. Everything was too overwhelming for her. But all the people that had came that morning and afternoon weren't everyone. There was more to it...sadly much more.

**Final Notes: **_I have to say the ice cream truck part was pretty weird, but it was random. Sort of funny. Well...I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review! _


	4. Evening Blitz

**Chapter 4: Evening Blitz  
  
Disclaimer: **_I didn't remember to add this in until Chapter 4. This applies to the other Chapters as well. I don't own Hamtaro, or any of the other Ham-Hams. The only thing I own is the cast of the "Real Thing" TV show from the first chapter..  
  
_**Author's Note: **_Thank you so much for reviewing this story! I'm glad some of you are enjoying this. I'm sorry for some of the disturbing parts in this chapter, but nevertheless, enjoy!_  
  
Bijou and Stan had been cuddling for over a half an hour before Pashmina came out from her shower. Her once dyed fur was completely clean, her face was clear of any make-up. Her old pink scarf was wrapped around her neck. She approached the two and smiled. "Hi you two," she said calmly, avoiding any use of cuss words.  
  
"Hi Pashmina," Bijou said wiping her last tear and letting go of Stan. "You look much better!" she said, rather pleased. "Do you feel any better?" she asked, with interest.  
  
Pashmina nodded. "It feels good to let things out." She said, looking down at her ripped scarf. "Maybe I should mend this." She said to herself, taking out a needle and some yarn. "Or make a new one. In memory of June. Its time to move on." She took out a almost finished red scarf, than had been started right around the time of the accident.  
  
Bijou smiled. "Yeah, I'll help," She got out another pair of needles, and started assisting Pashmina in the finishing of her scarf. Stan walked over to the two and grinned. Two pretty girls...could life get any sweeter?  
  
"Heya cuties!" he said flirtatiously. "You look rather charming Pashmina," he said, pleased with Pashmina's new change. He winked, and then looked back on Bijou and paused. Suddenly he didn't have that flirty streak in him. Suddenly he was feeling nervous, his heart beating much faster than before. He looked away, and headed back to his maracas. The door swung open again, this time emitting a rather familiar looking hamster.  
  
"God I hate you all," he said in a low voice, his eyes narrowed. He wore all black, even black eye make-up. He seemed like a shadow, not wanting to be heard from or talked to. He took a seat next to the two girls, and laughed. "What the hell are you doing?" he asked. "And what happened to the cool look Pashmina? You look like a damn bitch."  
  
Pashmina stared at the shady hamster. "You have real problems you know. Shut the heck up," she said, minding her language.  
  
The hamster stared at her and ripped the scarf off her neck. "What the hell is this?" he asked, holding up the pink scarf in disgust.  
  
"Hey give that back!" Pashmina snapped, trying to grab for it.  
  
"Give it back to her, you Goth!" Bijou exclaimed, grabbing for it as well.  
  
"So you're the bitch that changed Pashmina. I would of thought of it Bijou." The hamster said, starting to rip the scarf, piece by piece.  
  
Pashmina's eyes watered up. "You stop that Hamtaro! Stop it now!" She grabbed the loose pieces of the scarf and held them close, wiping a tear. She went back to the corner of the room and placed them back in the box. She immediately went back to work on her red scarf, trying to get it done as soon as possible.  
  
"Gosh...it's just a damn scarf...." Hamtaro said, not really aware of its meaning, or even caring at all.  
  
"You need help, my friend," Stan said, from the corner, still shaking his maracas.  
  
"I think we all need help," Pashmina said with a frown, continuing her knitting. "Hamtaro, Howdy, and Dexter especially."  
  
"How long have those two been in there?" Bijou asked, looking towards the closet they went to.  
  
Pashmina finished up her new red scarf, and placed it around her neck. It looked stylish, and Pashmina was satisfied with it. "In memory of you, June," she said, looking up towards the ceiling. It was her idea of where the heavens lied.  
  
Bijou wiped a tear. "It's so beautiful," she said, almost crying. She was over-reacting but she couldn't help it. It was that special week of the month.  
  
Pashmina nodded. "Yeah...it is."  
  
The door swung open once again and a drunken hamster came in. It was Boss from earlier. Obviously he had gone to the bar to ease the pain of the heartbreak from earlier.  
  
"'Sup homies," he said, with a bit of slurred speech, as he twirled around the clubhouse into a chair.  
  
"Wow Boss." Hamtaro said. "You're a damn drunk asshole. Awesome!" He yawned. "But I still hate your damn guts."  
  
"Shit ya'll...sing me a Hamtaro Time Song," Boss said, feeling rather dizzy.  
  
"Eck!" Bijou exclaimed. "It's the Drunk Boss!"  
  
"Da da da!" Pashmina sang, as the two girls backed away.  
  
Stan's eyes widened. Geez, he hated it when that Boss was drunk.  
  
But didn't all the Ham-Hams? Last time Boss got drunk he let a bunch of cats in. And everyone knows that cats kill hamsters. You see, Boss loses his mind when he gets drunk. It like...goes down the toilet.  
  
"Boss!" the worried Bijou exclaimed. "You need some serious help!"

"You should consult Maxwell the therapist." Pashmina suggested.  
  
But like he understood? He had the brain of a baby...maybe barely even one at all. He was drunk; crazy. All that stuff. He slumped on over to the table, extending his left paw in the arm. He swiped it downwards, as if to do some cool rapper motion. "Yo dawgs..."  
  
"We are not dogs," Bijou profoundly said, trying to seem smart, yet funny at the same time. Of course, she was a bit insulted. Dogs were the Ham-Hams worse enemy since Brandy turned on them.  
  
Pashmina giggled. "Yeah Boss. I think it's time for you to go to Happy Land on your own," She pushed him into the other closet, and locked the door before Boss made any objections. "That should hold him," she said, pleased with her work.  
  
Bijou let out a sigh of relief. "I was afraid he was going to start rapping if you didn't lock him away!" she exclaimed, dramatically.  
  
The two girls giggled, and then got a refill on coffee (they had gotten quite tired of tea). The others just stared at them, in bewilderment. The door swung open once again. It was Sandy. Apparently she hadn't killed herself...yet.  
  
"I'm like," she started, looking around at everyone. "I'm like saying good- bye. I'm going like...forever and ever. You're never seeing me again." She said, twirling her ribbon. "I just wanted to say good-bye. And give you this-whoa! Pashmina you're not a punk anymore. That's like totally great!"  
  
Pashmina beamed. "So you aren't killing yourself, are you Sandy?" she asked, with concern.  
  
Sandy looked enraged. "You like weren't suppose to tell anyone I'm gonna kill myself!"  
  
As if her last words were a cue, the door swung open and let in Maxwell. He smiled profoundly at the Ham-Hams and took pleasure to Pashmina's change. "Hamha!" he said, speaking in their little secret language.  
  
Bijou rolled her eyes. "Hamha is so three years ago..." she muttered, Pashmina nodding in agreement.  
  
Sandy frowned. "Hide me!" she exclaimed, running off into a corner.  
  
"Sweetheart?" Maxwell asked, clearly befuddled to Sandy's sudden hiding.  
  
"Sandy's havin' problems dude," Stan said, standing up and grabbing his maracas once again. "Oh sis!" he exclaimed, Sandy ignoring him.  
  
"Shut up Stan!" she exclaimed, also exposing her hiding spot.  
  
"Sandy!" Maxwell rushed over. "Is something bothering you?"  
  
Sandy ran to the other side of the room. "Nothing is." She said, putting her paws behind her back. "Nothing at all...I'll err...be right back," She rushed to the restroom area of the Clubhouse and shut the door.  
  
Maxwell frowned and followed, pulling at the door. "Sandy!" he exclaimed. "Let me in!" "Get away!" she exclaimed.  
  
Maxwell sighed. "She can be so moody at times," he walked back to the others, and sat down. "Especially during that one time of the month-"  
  
"YES!" came a pleased voice from the restroom, as Sandy walked out. "Oh thank god I'm not pregnant!" she exclaimed, running over to Bijou and Pashmina, hugging the two. "I have like no reason to kill myself anymore! YES! YES! YES!" she took out her ribbon and swirled it around cheerfully.  
  
Maxwell frowned. "Sandy thought she was pregnant!?" he exclaimed, in disbelief.  
  
"Oh err..." Sandy's cheeks redden. "I like gotta get running!" she ran out of the clubhouse, as Stan followed.  
  
"Come on sis!" he exclaimed. "We have to celebrate. That's two problems solved."  
  
"Pathetic morons," Hamtaro muttered, while taking a sip of coffee.  
  
Bijou frowned and swirled her spoon in her coffee. They may of solved two problems in one day, but there were still many more existing among the Ham- Hams. The rest would have to wait until tomorrow.

**Final Note:** _Please review! I like hearing from you. I'm pretty much having Writer's Block to what should happen next. Any suggestions would be superb._


	5. Hospital Visits

**Chapter 5: Hospital Visits**

**Author's Note: **_Sorry for the wait, but I had Writer's Block. This is the best I could come up with. I hope you enjoy._

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own Hamtaro or anything. The only thing I do own is the cast and crew of the "Real Thing" TV show from chapter 1 and the doctor from this upcoming chapter._  
  
Bijou couldn't sleep that night. If it wasn't one thing bothering her, it was surely another. She was worried about Oxnard, and the well being of all her friends. She could hear her owner, Maria's, parents arguing downstairs. Some would say that divorce was near for them; while the others would that there would surely be a change. She blinked twice, hoping it wasn't another one of those threats to move back to Europe. She had faced it a couple times before. But perhaps now, it wouldn't be such a bad thing, if it was to happen. She wouldn't be an outcast there.  
  
But she'd most defiantly miss her friends.  
  
Paris probably wouldn't have a Ham-Ham club. She was thankful for their little hideaway. It was a place for her to have a life as well, rather than being stuck in a cage all day. She was glad to have made such good friends, even if all their lives had become screwed up. Things would get better. Hopefully...  
  
Some problems were solved. She saw Pashmina and Sandy's come to a close right before her. There was hope. She just had to believe in it. She sighed. She couldn't sleep knowing one of her close friends was at the hospital. She was sure Oxnard's owner would be worried too. Or...maybe not.  
  
None of their owners seemed to care much anymore. It was as if something had replaced the hamsters' roles in their lives. Was it the start of dating? Hamtaro's owner, Laura, was pretty interested in guys. She had been pretty steady with some boy named Travis for a while, and it was still going strong between them. Maybe that was why Hamtaro went goth. Maybe it was because he was feeling neglected.  
  
Bijou pondered over the thought a little longer, until she finally fell asleep.

The morning sun poured right into the white hamster's window, as Bijou would of easily claimed it "blinding" her. She awoke rather quickly; glad to see her owner was gone. She made her way out of her cage and out of the house, to the hospital where Oxnard was.  
  
She wasn't surprised to see when she arrived there that some others had come too. There was Pashmina there, holding a "Get Well Soon" balloon, along with Sandy, twirling her pink ribbon around impatiently.  
  
As Bijou's eyes trailed along the waiting room she caught onto some other familiar hamsters. There was Stan, Maxwell, and surprisingly Hamtaro there too.  
  
She smiled, as she took a seat next to Pashmina. Maxwell sighed, looking over at Sandy, who was clearly ignoring him out of discomfort. He looked down. "So like," Sandy started, placing her ribbon aside. "The doctors haven't said anything yet. We're all like real worried."  
  
"Not a word?" Bijou asked a bit surprise.  
  
"Not a single word at all," Pashmina answered.  
  
"Like I give a damn," Hamtaro said. "That Oxnard is just a damn pile of shit. He's nothing."  
  
"Hamtaro!" the three girls exclaimed, in shock.  
  
"He's gonna need some major help when he's out," Stan commented about Oxnard, shaking his maracas once again.  
  
"Well err..." Maxwell hesitated. "Let's think positive, shall we? I'm sure Oxnard's alright."  
  
"Hopefully," Bijou said.  
  
Sandy nodded. "Yeah, hopefully." She grabbed her coffee from the table and took a sip.  
  
For about an hour more the gang was silent. A white and orange hamster that looked a bit like Hamtaro stepped forward. He looked up at the other waiting hamsters and smiled. "Oxnard's doing fine," he said, obviously being the doctor. "You're welcome to visit him, but come two at a time. I think a big crowd would overwhelm him."  
  
Stan smirked. "Alright. Who wants to go see him first?"  
  
"I don't wanna see that asshole at all," Hamtaro remarked.  
  
"Then why are you here?" Bijou asked.  
  
Hamtaro couldn't answer that one. He looked away.  
  
"I like wanna see him," Sandy said. "I've been like waiting since 5 in the morning."  
  
"Tell us how bad it is," Pashmina said. "If he's really doing that bad I don't think I wanna see him either."  
  
Sandy nodded. "Okay!"  
  
Maxwell stood up. "I'll go with you,"  
  
"Err..." Sandy hesitated. "I think I'd rather go on my own."  
  
"I've read up about eating disorders," Maxwell remarked, insightfully. "I'd really like to see if I can use my knowledge to help Oxnard in any way."

"Fine then," Sandy said. "I'll wait."  
  
"Why don't we just go together?" Maxwell asked. "The doctor said two at a time. You don't have to wait, sweetie."  
  
"I'd prefer to," Sandy said firmly, sitting back down.  
  
There was silence for a minute as Maxwell frowned and sat back down as well.  
  
"Aren't you like going Maxwell?" Sandy asked, crossing her arms. She looked away, still a bit upset, along with embarrassed at yesterday's events.  
  
"I'm waiting for you to go," Maxwell said, eyeing the orange tiger stripped hamster.  
  
"Well I'm not going with you," Sandy said, looking towards the blank wall.  
  
"Well I'm not going without you," Maxwell replied, looking towards the opposite side of the room.  
  
Bijou stood up, getting tired of Sandy and Maxwell's stubbornness. "I'm going to check on Oxnard." She said.  
  
Sandy got up. "Then I'm going with you," she said. She stuck her tongue out quickly at Maxwell.  
  
Maxwell just sighed.  
  
The two hamsters walked off towards Oxnard's hospital room, a bit worried at what they'd see inside.  
  
They took a deep breath and turned the door knob. Inside there was a thin hamster, with dull grey spots laying on a hospital bed. There were all kinds of tubes going into him, some providing him with oxygen, others providing him with glucose. He looked extremely weak, as it almost was a more depressing sight than before.  
  
Bijou walked over to a chair near the bed. "Bonjour Oxnard," she said softly and gently. She took one of his paws and held it. "How are you feeling?"  
  
Oxnard could just barely answer, as Sandy walked to the other side of him. "Is everything like okay?" Sandy asked, just as softly as Bijou.  
  
Meanwhile, back in the waiting room, a conversation started.  
  
"I don't get it," Maxwell said. "Sandy would always want to go places with me before. Why all of a sudden is she avoiding me? She's been ignoring me, and neglecting spending time with me privately. Do any of you know what's going on?"

Stan frowned. "Well, she's a bit embarrassed about yesterday I think," he said. "I mean, girls get like that. They're all over emotional."  
  
"Why thanks," Pashmina muttered sarcastically, eyeing Stan.  
  
"Well I'm sorry cutie," Stan said, putting his usual habit of flirting to use. "But sometimes the truth hurts, doll."  
  
"Stan, you're the clear definition of a Casanova," Maxwell commented. "I don't think any girl would feel comfortable dating you because of it."  
  
Pashmina nodded. "Yeah," she replied. "I mean, you flirt with every girl you meet."  
  
"I do not!" Stan said. "I'm your ham, Pashmina."  
  
Pashmina rolled her eyes. "I believe you there," she sarcastically remarked.  
  
"What?" Stan asked. "Am I that unbelievable?"  
  
"Let's just say that we have gotten to know how you are," Pashmina said, with a smirk.  
  
Stan sighed. "Whatever."  
  
Hamtaro frowned. "You are such idiots," he plainly said.  
  
"Why thanks," Pashmina sarcastically replied.  
  
Sandy and Bijou walked back over to the gang, with a frown on both their faces. "He looked horrible," Sandy whispered. She walked over to a chair, rather far from Maxwell's, as she looked down at her dance ribbon.  
  
Bijou nodded. "Yeah," she said, softly. "The doctor made us go out because we were uncomforting him too much."  
  
Maxwell's eyes widen. "Oh." He said, letting out a sigh.  
  
They remained silent once more as the morning slowly drifted by. They headed back to the clubhouse, just to eat lunch and reflect once more.

**Final Notes:** _Thanks for the reviews and ideas. I'll be sure to add Jingle in the later chapters. He just didn't fit in this one. Actually I sort of forgot about him and Snoozer..._


	6. Broken Couple

**Chapter 6: Broken Couple**

**Author's Note: **_Thank you so much for the reviews. I haven't watched Hamtaro in a long time, so I forgot a lot about some of the Ham-Hams. I'll probably add them in another chapter, but here's the explaining of one couple and how the changes might of taken place (not really but how it happened in one's sense)_

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own Hamtaro or anything like that. As mentioned in the other chapters, I own some of made-up hamsters but not Bijou, Pashmina, or any of the other Ham-Hams from the show._  
  
Bijou couldn't sleep that night. She was having trouble; too much trouble. Her thoughts were on one hamster: Hamtaro. What happened to him? How? She was confused. She had her predictions, but she never found out if any of them were right. Hamtaro couldn't just change like that in one day. He just couldn't. She kept thinking about it, as she finally fell asleep.  
  
_(Flashback)  
_  
"Oh Bijou!" a white and orange hamster called out. "Where are you, Bijou?" he asked. The two were playing hide and seek. It was a favorite of their games, especially the hiding part. There were so many places to hide, which made the game much more difficult.  
  
Bijou was hidden in a bush, giggling nervously to herself. She had a major crush on Hamtaro. She had had it since the day they had met. He was so charming, happy, and he spread his endless joy to everyone he met. She thought they were perfect for each other; in every way. She blushed a bit, trying to think of how she'd every tell him. Every time she tried, she got too nervous and backed away. Everyone else knew they had feelings for each other, except for Boss, who tried not to believe it.  
  
"Bijou!" Hamtaro called again, still searching around the place. He finally came upon the white hamster and smiled. "Found you!" he exclaimed, helping her out of the bushes.  
  
This just caused Bijou to blush even more. The two hurried off to a nearby hill; to just talk before going back to the clubhouse. It was Bijou's job to distract Hamtaro. The Ham-Hams were planning a birthday party for the famed orange and white hamster. Bijou had to keep him busy until 12 o'clock.  
  
It wasn't her choice to do the job. The others had insisted upon her having it. Deep down, their intention was to get the two together, and what better time to do it but when they were putting together Hamtaro's birthday party?  
  
The two had consulted to playing their own little game, of just staring at the clouds. All the clouds seem to remind them of something. One looked like a sunflower seed; while the other looked like one of their friends.  
  
Bijou's eyes widen at the one passing by. It just seemed to remind her of...Hamtaro. Her cheeks turned a deep crimson as she just stared at it, in silence. Hamtaro took notice to her sudden shock. "What's wrong Bijou?" he asked, sweetly.  
  
The white hamster was at loss for words for a minute. Her eyes just trailed over to Hamtaro as she suddenly felt "concealed". She opened her mouth to speak; but no words came out. She was growing a bit scared of this, as she started to shiver with fear.  
  
Hamtaro frowned, entirely uncertain to the sudden change in Bijou's behavior. He reached over and gave her a hug, to comfort her. Or was it something more? Deep down, Hamtaro was battling the same feeling. All the other Ham-Hams seemed to be pairing up, even if it was really officially just Maxwell and Sandy. All the guys were starting to talk about girls, rather then sports or the usual thing.  
  
And not to mention physically Bijou was maturing. Along with Hamtaro. He gulped. He never thought he'd be interested in girls, and to be exact, he was a bit scared of it. He was new to the concept. He never pictured himself dating...until now.  
  
Suddenly, holding a girl ham's paw, or even kissing them didn't seem as disgusting. Suddenly, it was all he could think about. He looked over at Bijou. He never noticed how pretty she was; how wonderful her smile looked; or how beautiful her eyes were....  
  
He found himself staring. He was gazing; gazing deeply into the white hamster's eyes. His heart raced. His mind was full of confusion to this awkward new feeling. Before he knew it, he found himself moving in closer to her face, and suddenly kissing her.  
  
Bijou was just as startled. What was Hamtaro doing? He never hinted it before. But nevertheless, she returned it. It was a weird feeling. It was a first. All of this was a first for both of them. What was this mysterious emotion called love? Were they feeling it now?  
  
The two sat up, and just gazed into each other's eyes once again. Bijou felt her heart beating ten times faster than it should as she opened her mouth to say something. She was cut off, by Hamtaro.  
  
"B-b-b-bijou," he said, struggling with words. "I-I think I," he felt nervous, as he shivered a bit. This feeling, this horrible but wonderful feeling, was taking over inside. "Bijou, I...I think I," he struggled once again. He was growing frustrated with himself, as he forced himself to get the words out. "Bijou, I love you!" he finally said.  
  
Bijou's cheeks turned a deeper red. It seemed nearly impossible, but they did. "Oh Hamtaro," she said, in a bit of a daze. "I-I love you too!" The two hugged each other, as time seemed to freeze in their world. They kissed, cuddled, and laughed as hardly any time seemed to float at all. They were truly happy. They had never felt so much joy before.  
  
Finally the time came for Bijou to lead Hamtaro to his surprise birthday party. She opened the door to the clubhouse, announcing that they were arriving as a sign to the other Ham-Hams to hide. The happy couple finally walked in, while the rest of the Ham-Hams yelled: "Surprise!"  
  
It nearly startled Hamtaro, as the party begun. There was music, and dancing, even Elder Ham was joining in on the fun. Bijou smiled watching Hamtaro have the time of his life. She sat back, having a bit of tea. She tilt her head, as her two other friends joined her.  
  
"Hey Bijou!" Sandy exclaimed. "So? Like didja tell him?" she was eager. The whole concept of Bijou keeping Hamtaro busy before the party was her idea. She knew how perfect the two seemed for each other.  
  
Bijou blushed and nodded. "He-he said he loved me too," she said, still rather embarrassed, along with shocked. "And he kissed me!"  
  
"Wait a go Bijou!" Sandy exclaimed, giving her fiend a high five. "Now all we gotta do is hook Pashmina up with someone."  
  
"Excuse me?" Pashmina asked.  
  
"Well, ya still got Howdy and Dexter to choose from," Sandy said. "Which one do you like better?"  
  
"I like them both the same, thank you very much," Pashmina said, clearly unable to choose.  
  
"Oh come on!" Sandy exclaimed, liking to have the job of match maker. "I know you like one of them."  
  
Pashmina sighed. "I don't know. I really don't wanna hurt any of their feelings. Besides, I have plenty of time, right? I'll make my decision someday. Today, let's just have fun!"  
  
The three got up and joined in on the dancing.  
  
By time the party was over, the word had gotten out to all the Ham-Hams that Bijou and Hamtaro were dating. The two blushed, not denying the so-called rumor. The word reached Boss, as he approached the couple. "Bijou," he said, in a concerned voice. "You aren't really dating Hamtaro, are you?"  
  
Bijou gulped. She had forgotten all about Boss. "Well err..." she hesitated. He was going to be heartbroken and that was not a good thing at all. "I err..." she hesitated once again and looked over at Hamtaro for guidance. He nodded slowly and took her paw. "We are," she finally let out. "I'm so sorry," she said, looking down with guilt.  
  
Boss stood frozen. They were dating each other? Bijou didn't love him? He rushed away, only to leave the two very confused. They sighed, not liking at all how much they had hurt their friend.  
  
Time flew by as the couple just grew closer. They shared more new experiences, as they finally realized they weren't little kids anymore.  
  
One late spring morning, Bijou arrived at the clubhouse feeling uneasy. She had some news to tell to everyone, which would upset Hamtaro the most. She wasn't too fond of the news either. She walked into the clubhouse, to see everyone at the table, having their own side conversations. She cleared her throat, as her face grew a bit pale. "Everyone," she proclaimed, getting their attention. "I have some bad news," she looked down. "Maria is going to France for the summer...and she's bringing me with her."  
  
Everyone had shocked faces, as they all looked at Bijou. "How soon are you leaving?" Pashmina asked.  
  
"Tomorrow," Bijou answered.  
  
Everyone's eyes widen. Bijou was leaving for France tomorrow? Bijou put on a small smile "At least," she said, blinking twice. "We aren't moving there."  
  
The Ham-Hams were glad to hear that bit of information. They threw Bijou a "Going Away" party, presenting her with lots of quickly made gifts. She took them gladly, and then set out on her way.  
  
She walked out of the Clubhouse that evening to see Hamtaro standing near the door, rather upset. Bijou wiped the tears from her eyes as the couple exchanged a hug and a good-bye kiss. "I'm gonna miss you, Bijou," Hamtaro whispered, holding her close to him.  
  
"I'm going to miss you too," Bijou returned, just as softly. The two cuddled for a couple minutes more, until Bijou finally pulled back. "I have to get going now," she said, looking down. "I love you Hamtaro."  
  
"I love you too Bijou," Hamtaro said, having tears in his own eyes. The couple kissed one last time, before they finally parted. It was a sad time for everyone that morning when Bijou and her owner boarded the plane. She waved, and then sighed, knowing the boring summer that was ahead.  
  
Summer had drifted by slowly, as Bijou enjoyed some of it. Paris was a very nice city, with lots of nice hamster that all shared her unusual accent. She enjoyed the food, and just being in her home for that matter. Paris was amazing to her. But she would have enjoyed herself much more if a certain orange and white hamster hadn't been on her mind most of the time.  
  
"Oh Hamtaro," she said, gazing out the hotel window, at the starry night sky. "I miss you," she whispered. Her heart seemed to have an empty spot without that hamster in her life. She looked back on memories to help her through the long nights.  
  
Summer finally came to an end, as she gathered up her souvenirs and headed back on the plane. She eagerly waited the whole plane ride and car trip home to see her friends. She rushed back to the clubhouse that morning wearing a French beret, along with her differently styled hair. Her once girly pigtails were now one side ponytail flipped out on the end. She had grown during the summer, as she eagerly knocked on the door. She hoped the Ham-Hams would enjoy her mini baguettes, and other French food. She sure did.  
  
But who she was most eager to see was Hamtaro. The whole plane ride home she thought about how much she missed him and everything. She opened the door as her eyes widen at her friends. They were the same...but...different. She ventured in the clubhouse, as she tried to pick out who everyone was.  
  
Pashmina was no longer the sweetheart she used to be. She was wearing dark make-up, along with spike bracelets. This scared poor Bijou. She looked on. Howdy and Dexter were seen holding hands, which seemed to give Bijou a few disturbing thoughts about the two. Boss was wearing a medallion and hanging out in the corner of the clubhouse. But last, she saw Hamtaro...anything but the way he was when she last saw him.  
  
She rubbed her eyes, hoping this was all just a terrible dream. "Hamtaro?" she asked, as she went over to the orange and white hamster.  
  
"What do you want, bitch?" he greeted her, as his eyes narrowed.  
  
"Hamtaro!" Bijou desperately exclaimed. "What happened to you? Why are you wearing all black? What happened to the happy man I loved?"  
  
"He died," Hamtaro replied, not seeming to care at all.  
  
Bijou was over whelmed. What had happened to her beloved friends? She rushed out of the clubhouse in tears. She tried to wake herself up, still half believing this was a horrible nightmare. But it was change. Change was constant. Even she had changed. She panted, trying to hold back tears. Her beloved Hamtaro...changed forever.  
  
_(End Flashback)_  
  
Bijou woke up in a scream. That horrible past; it always seemed to haunt her. She wiped her tears as she gazed in the mirror. What had happened while she was gone that summer? How could so much change take place? She wanted to find out; she desperately wanted to find out. She took a deep breath, as she cried herself back to sleep.

**Final Notes:** _Looong chapter. I'm sorry for any of the spelling or grammer mistakes. I wrote this in a couple of hours. I hope you enjoyed it. Please give me feedback! I really like hearing what you think. And any ideas are appreciated. It gets hard sometimes to figure out something to write about._


	7. The Unusually Calm Morning

**Chapter 7: The Unusually Calm Morning**

**Author's Note: **_Another case of Writer's Block. I'm sorry to say that this chapter isn't as long or as interesting as the others. I brought in Jingle though! =D So until I get more ideas...Cheers!_

**Disclaimer:** _I obviously don't own Hamtaro or anything like that. _  
  
Bijou walked in the Clubhouse that morning with a bit of a pale face. That dream seemed so real; the flashback of the memories only made it seem like she was living it again. She sighed, and sat down in-between to Maxwell and Pashmina, grabbing a coffee, and trying to calm down.  
  
"Bad dream, eh?" Pashmina asked, sipping a bit of her own coffee. She fiddled a bit with her red scarf, before looking back up at Bijou for an answer.  
  
Bijou slowly nodded. "It's always the same dream," she said, trying to maintain a normal American accent once again. "It's always a flashback of how I lost him." She looked down.  
  
"You mean Hamtaro, don't you?" Pashmina asked, with a concerned glance. She sighed as well. "You two were so close. I-I can't really explain what happen to him. After you left he sort of...dimmed out...if you know what I mean. He stopped coming here as often, and when he did, he slowly became more...gloomy. He wouldn't talk to anyone. My guess is that something happened to his owner, Laura."  
  
Bijou nodded. "From what I heard, Laura hasn't been spending as much time with Hamtaro due to her boyfriend."  
  
"Along with loss of interest," Maxwell added. "I mean, from what I heard all our owners lost interest in us hamsters. They have new things to replace us. For some, it's other pets, and others...it may be as worthless as video games. Some have gone to college, or gotten more into work. We just don't play as much as an active role in their life."  
  
Bijou nodded once again in agreement. "Good point," she said, looking down.  
  
Pashmina sighed. "I haven't seen Penelope or Panda too much anymore either. Penelope's owner moved, which was a sad event for us all, and Panda's been on vacation."  
  
"What about Jingle?" Bijou asked, her eyes suddenly widening.  
  
The door suddenly swung open, as if on cue, letting in a odd hamster. His hair was styled with gel, as he walked in with a guitar hanging over his shoulder. "Yo," he said, looking around. "This wouldn't be the Ham-Ham clubhouse would it?"  
  
"Jingle!" the three exclaimed.  
  
The hamster made himself comfortable on a chair, as he yawned. "The path of life has been tough, so I see," he said, having ease dropped on their conversation. "I saw the orange hamster himself, Kamtaro wasn't it?"  
  
"That would be Hamtaro," Bijou corrected.  
  
"Whatever." Jingle said, starting to play a tune on his guitar. "He looked pretty upset at first, but that was a couple months ago."  
  
"Do you remember what he was upset about?" Bijou questioned.  
  
"No, one's memory can only recall certain events for so long." Jingle replied.  
  
"What happened to all the rhymes?" Pashmina asked.  
  
"Rhymes?" Jingle questioned with a befuddled glance.  
  
"You always used to rhyme." Pashmina said. "You haven't used one set of rhyming words at all now."  
  
"Perhaps the poet inside me has gone away," Jingle suggested, grabbing some coffee. 'In other words, I left him in Tokyo."  
  
The three laughed, glad to see their unusual friend once again.  
  
"Doesn't it get lonely traveling alone?" Bijou asked, with a concerned glance.  
  
"I got my pig," Jingle happily proclaimed. "It's never lonely with him."  
  
Maxwell smiled. "So how long do you plan to stay?"  
  
"Until the wind tells me to move on," Jingle said. He laughed. "I'll go when the time's right."  
  
Maxwell nodded. "I speak for everyone when I say we appreciate your company."  
  
Jingle smiled. "Glad to be here. So where's everyone else?"  
  
"Well," Bijou hesitated. "Oxnard's in the hospital still."  
  
Jingle's eyes widen. "Really? Why?" he asked, the slightest bit worried.  
  
"Let's just call it an eating disorder gone too far," Pashmina said, with a frown.  
  
Their guest nodded. "I understand. Poor hamster."  
  
"Sandy and Stan are still at home," Pashmina continued.

Maxwell frowned at the mention of Sandy. "I don't know why she's been avoiding me lately," he said.  
  
"She's probably still embarrassed from the other day," Bijou suggested.  
  
Jingle frowned. "What happened the other day?"  
  
"You really don't need to know," Pashmina answered.  
  
"As for Hamtaro," Bijou said, in a bit of a distant voice. "No one knows," she sighed and looked down.  
  
Pashmina frowned, and took another sip out of her coffee  
  
Jingle nodded in understanding. "And what about that big leader hamster with the anger problems?" he asked.  
  
"Boss?" Maxwell questioned. "No one really knows what happened to him either. Last I remember Pashmina locked him in a closet."  
  
"He isn't still in there, is he!?" Pashmina exclaimed, running over to the closet and opening it. She let out a sigh of relief to see he wasn't.  
  
"As for Howdy and Dexter, no one knows either," Bijou said. "Nor does anyone want to."  
  
The other two nodded at this statement and then turned their attention back to Jingle. Pashmina walked back to the table and sat back down.  
  
"So do you have any plans for today?" Jingle asked.  
  
"Well, we're going to the hospital this afternoon," Bijou said. "Hopefully Oxnard's feeling better.  
  
"Yeah..." Pashmina said. "Hopefully."

The conversation suddenly stopped there, as the four hamsters just drank there coffee, letting time slowly pass by.

**Final Notes: **_Pretty average chapter. I'm out of ideas really. Any good exciting suggestions would be appreciated._


	8. A Final Goodbye

**Chapter 8: A Final Good-bye**

**Author's Note: **_This is a rather sad chapter up ahead. Don't worry though, I promise a pretty happy ending...maybe ironic. _

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own Hamtaro or anything else._  
  
The four Ham-Hams arrived at the hospital at exactly the stroke of 12, as they hurried into the waiting room. They smiled to see they weren't the only Ham-Hams that cared enough for Oxnard to show up. Sandy, Stan, and Dexter were at the hospital too; already seated.  
  
Dexter's eyes widen at the new appearance of Pashmina, as he suddenly felt an old passion battle its way back. "Pas-pashmina?" he asked, eyeing the stylish hamster with the red scarf. "Is that really you?"  
  
Pashmina nodded, and took a seat next to Dexter. "Yep, it's me." She smiled. "Like the new change?"  
  
"Indeed I do!" Dexter exclaimed, with a grin. "You look as wonderful as you used to."  
  
Pashmina's cheeks turned a tad bit red. "Thank you," she looked around the hospital room. "So..." she said, as her voice suddenly dimmed down. "How is he?"  
  
Everyone was well aware of who 'he' was. There was no need to mention the poor anorexic hamster's name.  
  
Sandy sighed and looked over at Pashmina. "Last time we like heard, the doctor said he was doing really really bad."  
  
Pashmina frowned, and looked down. "Oh," she said softly.  
  
Maxwell, Jingle, and Bijou all took seats and looked down as well. Was this the end for their dear hamster friend? Pepper would be upset.  
  
On that note, where was Pepper?

Bijou pondered the thought. Oxnard and Pepper were still really close. She was surprised to find out that Pepper wasn't here by now. Maybe she couldn't make it. Or she hadn't heard. If she was in Pepper's spot, she'd be real worried; almost panicked. From what Sandy said, Oxnard wasn't doing good...at all.  
  
Her thoughts were interrupted, when the doctor hamster from before, walked over to the group. He had a dull look on his face, as if he had bad news.  
  
"So what's the scoop now, doc?" Stan asked, hoping that the doctor's facial expression was misleading.  
  
"It's bad," the doctor said, looking down. "I'm afraid even with all our actions, it may be too late."  
  
Too late!? The words echoed through the Ham-Hams' minds. Oxnard couldn't die. He couldn't leave. Just couldn't...  
  
Some were crying, while others tried to be stronger by choosing not to believe it. Was this the reality of his problem? Was this the consequence? Was this the only solution?  
  
"Is there anything you can do?" Bijou asked the doctor, holding back her tears for a minute.  
  
"I'm afraid not," the doctor replied. "You can only hope for the best. I'm so sorry Ham-Hams," he bowed his head. "I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this. You can go in and see him if you like," he walked away after that, leaving the Ham-Hams to decide what to do from there.  
  
"I think everyone should like be here," Sandy said, holding back her own tears.  
  
The others nodded. "Yeah, this may be Oxnard's final hours. Everyone should be here to support him." Maxwell added.  
  
"He's not really gonna go is he, Maxy?" Sandy asked, holding on tightly to her fiancée.  
  
"I'm afraid he might Sandy," Maxwell said, as sweetly as he could, hugging his scared future wife.  
  
Watching this, Bijou started to realize how much she wanted someone to hold on to. She closed her eyes, and gulped, letting a couple tears fall down. But it wasn't Oxnard she was crying about.  
  
It was the memories of her first love, Hamtaro.  
  
She tried and tried to get herself to forget. She spent many sleepless nights trying to solve the problem. What would have happened if she hadn't gone to France? Would Hamtaro not of gone goth? Would he still be the fun- loving hamster he was before she left? She didn't know. Her thoughts snapped back to reality as she noticed Stan and a few others leaving. "Where are you going?" she asked, not listening to the conversation that was going on while she was deep in thought.  
  
Stan frowned. "We're going to get the others, babe," he said, extending a paw to wipe on of Bijou's tears. "Don't worry, sweetheart. He's gonna be alright." He left after that.  
  
Pashmina sighed, and grabbed a magazine to cover her tear filled face. Bijou grabbed a tissue, and took out her pocket mirror, just to see her mascara smeared. She blushed, embarrassed, and went into the bathroom, to correct her make-up.  
  
Bijou glanced at her reflection in the mirror and sighed. "Is this really the end?" she asked, looking down. "Is Oxnard really going to go?" She walked out of the bathroom, with her make-up fixed. She passed by Oxnard's hospital room, and then stopped. "If this is my last chance to see you," she whispered to Oxnard, staring at the door. "Then I'd regret not taking it."  
  
The almost lifeless hamster layed in the hospital room, resting peaceful. It almost made Bijou start crying again at the sight. She took a deep breath and walked over to the side of the bed, grabbing one of Oxnard's paws.  
  
"I know you can't hear me," she whispered, as her eyes welled up with tears. "But I want you to know that we all really care about you. From what the doctor said, this may be my last chance to see you, but know that we'll all here for you. You mean the world to every single one of us...at least; you mean the world to me. We love you Oxnard," she said, almost squeezing his paw. As much as the white hamster did not want to admit it, she had a very bad feeling that this was her last chance to say anything to him.  
  
She looked over at the heart monitor, as Oxnard weakly opened his eyes briefly. "Tell everyone," he said, barely above a whisper. "That I love them too. Good-bye...Bijou..." he said, before his eyes finally closed, and he took his final breath.  
  
The heart monitor then showed a sight Bijou would never forget. Poor Oxnard; dear Oxnard...was dead.

**Final Notes: **_Sometimes, it doesn't take many words to get the emotion of the situation out. This is one of the shortest chapters, but one of the ones that has the most feeling. I'm sorry for the depressing ending for Oxnard, but it's a turning point. Just so you know, no more Ham-Hams will die. I guess that's a more cheerful note. __Please review._


	9. Reflections On A Rainy Day

**Chapter 9: Reflections On A Rainy Day**

**Author's Note: **_I have to say that this story has pretty much turned from humor to tragedy, which was something I didn't even expect. The main focus of this chapter is still Oxnard and his untimely death (which is a shame really, because I'm not such a big fan of Oxnard either) and that this chapter is still pretty sad. But that's the current mood of the story. Next chapter will probably (hopefully) be more cheerful. Enjoy?_

**Disclaimer: **_No, I don't own Hamtaro. It's pretty obvious._  
  
It was hard for Bijou to tell everyone what had happened when she went to see Oxnard. It was hard for her to explain without bursting into tears. But she did. She did explain it to everyone. She explained it as best she could.  
  
It was times like these; the Ham-Hams all being together; that they weren't so different. They were just a bunch of hamsters crying over a friend's death. But it felt good.  
  
As Bijou cried she noticed she liked the feeling the slightest bit. She felt as if she was letting go of something; letting go of something that had been on her ever since the day she returned from France. And as she cried she couldn't help to think that she should do it...more often.  
  
Some people would live through life holding their head high about everything. These were the kind of people that had the most on them; the most on their heart. These were the people that didn't forgive when there was a mistake; and didn't let go. That was the kind of person Bijou didn't want to be.  
  
She spent the rest of the day sobbing; stopping every so often, and then starting up again. She fell asleep crying; and the next day she was glad to see the weather agreed with her. It was raining.  
  
Rainy days were always one of Bijou's favorites. The sound of rain landing on the roof seemed to calm her worries. She could sleep easily to the sound of the rain, singing her a lullaby, and she could just think better. It was as if...nothing really mattered.  
  
Walking over to the clubhouse with an umbrella over her head, she felt like a little kid; as all of life's worries drifted away. She looked over at a mud puddle nearby. She hated mud. She hated getting dirty. But now all she could think of was just splashing in it; letting go of all of life's harsh realities. It was when it was raining she could reflect most. She could compare; she could remember.  
  
The rain would cover her tears.  
  
There was a right time for everything; and now just seemed the right time to cry. She didn't care who would see her. She was letting go; very slowly. Wasn't everyone else? She had seen a side of everyone yesterday she never had before. There were tears; laughter and memories. Everyone expressed what was on their heart, as they tried to get over it. She felt closer to her friends that day. But most of all...she felt closer to herself.  
  
She opened the door to the clubhouse very slowly to see that everyone was seated at the table once again. The clubhouse was surprisingly clean, as she could clearly tell that there was some sort of a meeting being held. She made her way in, closing her umbrella, and hurried to her usual spot at the table; front center.  
  
Up front of everyone was Maxwell, having a chalkboard out to draw up a plan. She was pretty sure she knew what was going on; the Ham-Hams were planning Oxnard's funeral.  
  
She sat silently; her mind blank on ideas. She couldn't hear what Maxwell was saying. Her mind was somewhere else. All she could hear was the sound of the rain; calming her little by little.  
  
Her mind suddenly snapped back to reality, when she saw a familiar hamster walk in. It was Pepper. Pepper must have heard what had happened. At first, the country hamster thought Oxnard was lost. It wasn't until Maxwell told her what had really happened; that she had realized her dear Oxnard was really gone. She took a seat next to Bijou, with her head down.  
  
Bijou felt bad for her. She had lost the one hamster she truly loved. Oxnard wasn't just a hamster; but a person. A life taken away from a problem that was out of control. No one was to blame.  
  
Pepper looked up, holding back her tears. She listened to Maxwell's plan, and even suggested some ideas of her own. The meeting went by slowly, until it was adhered. All the hamsters left, very happy with the idea proposed, except for Pepper.  
  
As Bijou got up to leave, she saw Pepper doing what she had held back to do earlier: cry. She felt as if now was the time to talk to Pepper; to give her a friend to help her through. She took her seat again, and put on paw on Pepper's shoulder. "It's okay," Bijou softly said, this time not trying to fake a regular accent. "Oxnard's in a better place now."  
  
"But why did he have to go!?" Pepper exclaimed, with her usual country accent. "He was a good ham. He didn't deserve to die. It ain't fair!"  
  
"Life isn't fair," Bijou said, beginning to cry as well. "We just have to live with it...and go on."  
  
"But what if I don't wanna go on!?" Pepper exclaimed, sobbing a bit louder.  
  
"You just have to," Bijou said softly, looking down. "We have no choice."  
  
Pepper said nothing after this. The two spent the rest of the afternoon in silence. The only thing heard between the two was the soft gentle sound of rain.

**Final Notes: **_Pretty tacky, eh? I like rainy days a lot too, so that's why I wrote it into the story. I'm sorry about the spelling mistakes and any of that stuff. I was a bit too lazy to proof read it a second time. Please review. The best part about writing this story is hearing what you think! =)_


	10. The Fireworks Party

**Chapter 10: The Fireworks Party**

**Author's Note: **_I'm sorry that it took so long for me to update. I've had another case of Writer's Block along with some discouragement (not from any of you). Well...here's the semi-long awaited tenth chapter. Enjoy?_

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own Hamtaro or any of the other Ham-Hams._  
  
Time sure flies. It had been a month since the death of the Ham-Ham's beloved friend, Oxnard. The funeral went by smoothly, and everything went as planned. Some had forgotten about that grey spotted hamster, while others still had good memories (some bad) stuck in their head. Nevertheless, they had all moved on. Except for Hamtaro.  
  
It concerned Bijou with Hamtaro's current state. He seemed pretty empty; even quieter then he usually was. She had even seen him cry. She may have been the only still there that one cool evening but she heard sobbing. She had ventured over to where the sound led her to see Hamtaro; covered in tears.  
  
He hadn't noticed her; which was probably a good thing. Hamtaro was really scary...and pretty strong. He was stronger than her; that was a fact. She had tip toed her way out of the clubhouse that evening and rushed back home; just in case she had been the slightest bit noticed.  
  
The Ham-Hams were throwing their annual fireworks party. It had been a tradition since who knew how long? They would eat lots of good food and then watch the fireworks from a distance. Bijou had gotten there early to help decorate, along with Sandy and Pashmina. The place looked lovely, as they hung the lights around the outside picnic area.  
  
"Hopefully the guys won't ruin it," Pashmina commented, sitting down at the table, and taking a break. "And hopefully they won't bring you know what."  
  
The three girls were well aware of what the "you know what" was. The guys had the tendency to make the party wilder than it should; and the last thing the three wanted was a wild crazy party. They wanted something calm....and relaxing.  
  
They set up the drinks they had brought (water, tea, coffee, and lemonade) along with the desserts they had made (cake, cupcakes, sunflower seeds, etc). They set the center piece on the food table and finished setting up for the party. The three sat back, and looked at the pinkish orange sky.  
  
Everyone else would be coming soon, which meant more chaos. But now...it was calm; and peaceful. Just as the three stressed out girls liked it. There had been a lot of time and planning put into this party only because Bijou, Pashmina, and Sandy were the only three that had chosen to take any work into making the party happen.  
  
Dexter and Howdy were the first (and only) to arrive. Howdy's eyes widen when he saw Pashmina.  
  
"Told you I wasn't lying," Dexter muttered, as Howdy ventured over to Pashmina, with a rather stunned yet lovesick face.  
  
"Pashy?" he asked, in his western accent. "Is that really ya?"  
  
Pashmina nodded, taking a sip of her lemonade. "Why wouldn't it be?" she asked, letting out a yawn. She was exhausted.  
  
"Wow..." he walked back to Dexter. "I wouldn't mind goin' on a date with her," he said, loud enough so Dexter could hear.  
  
"Me either," Dexter said, not the slightest bit insulted, looking over at Pashmina and then back to Howdy. "You know," he said, blinking twice. "All of a sudden, I don't think we should get married."  
  
Howdy nodded. "It disgusts Pashmina..." he said.

"It disgusts me in a way too," Dexter said. "I think we should just be friends..."  
  
"Yeah, I think ya right." Howdy shook Dexter's paw. "Friends?"  
  
"Friends...not lovers...ever again!" Dexter added.  
  
The two walked back over to the girls and smiled. "We aren't getting married anymore," Dexter announced.  
  
All three girls let out a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness," Pashmina exclaimed, with a smile. "That was pretty disgusting you two." She said.  
  
"So, wanna go on a date with me, Pashy?" Howdy asked.  
  
"Ugh..." Pashmina said, narrowing her eyes. "I'll answer that later..."  
  
"But wouldn't you like to go on a romantic stroll with me, my precious Pashmina?" Dexter asked, quickly picking a rose and giving it to her.  
  
"I'll answer that one later as well, Dexter," Pashmina took the flower and put it behind her left ear.  
  
Bijou looked around. "Where's everyone else?" she asked.  
  
"Who knows?" Howdy asked, sitting down. "Probably better they didn't come. Now we can have Howdy's Comedy Hour!"  
  
"NOO!" the four exclaimed, in disapproval.  
  
"Ah, shoot!" Howdy exclaimed, walking over to the food table.  
  
The others laughed. They looked over at the now dark night sky, and some of the stars that twinkled in it.  
  
"Remember when we thought those were Diamonds of Sugar?" Pashmina asked, with a laugh.  
  
"Yeah, you bet!" Sandy exclaimed, laughing as well. "We were so stupid then."  
  
Bijou nodded. "You should of seen Howdy and Dexter trying to get Pashmina one..."  
  
"And we could do it again too!" Howdy said. "But everyone knows I'd get Pashy one!"  
  
"Oh contrary!" Dexter exclaimed. "I'd be the one to get her one. That is for certain."  
  
"Wanna bet?" Howdy asked, getting up.  
  
"We all like know Diamonds of Sugar are candy and totally not stars, you two," Sandy said.  
  
"We aren't talking about getting Pashmina a Diamond of Sugar. We're talking about whose speed is better." Decxter stated.  
  
"I could beat you anyday, Mr. Over Mannered," Howdy said.  
  
"Oh so you think?" Dexter asked. "Well I'll prove you wrong!"  
  
The Ham-Hams ran down the hill, in what they would call a "race". The three girls just watched and shook their heads.  
  
"Well, at least the other guys aren't here," Pashmina said. "Espeically the wild ones."

The other two nodded. "Yeah," Sandy said. "All together I think this was a totally great party." She smiled. "Three cheers for us!"  
  
Pashmina and Bijou laughed, and did their three little cheers.  
  
"Look at all the leftovers we have!" Bijou said, with her eyes widen. "We could have another party all over!"  
  
"All the guys ate was the cake and sunflower seeds," Pashmina achknowledged. "They didn't have much of that to start with."  
  
"Watch out gals!" Sandy exclaimed, seeing Dexter and Howdy running towards them.  
  
The two racing hamsters passed them, just barely missing Sandy. Sandy let out a sigh of relief. "Maybe we should move."  
  
Bijou giggled and nodded. "Yeah, before they make us all go to the hospital." She said. Her smile turned to a frown, having a faint memory of Oxnard.  
  
The other two frowned for a minute too. Not one of them had been to the hospital since Oxnard passed away. The minute soon ended as the three started laughing and giggling again.  
  
The dark sky now started showing flashes of colorful light. It was time for the fireworks; each different and unique in their own way.  
  
Dexter and Howdy stopped running and went back to the others, as the five watched the fireworks. No words were spoken then, as the hamster just watched with amazement. The fireworks were lovely, and they brought back old memories of when they first had the party.  
  
Bijou sighed, thinking about Hamtaro back then. She wiped a tear, and then suddenly spotted a shooting beam of white light. She closed her eyes and made a wish. Some say that when you wish upon a shooting star that any wish would come true. Perhaps, just maybe, as Bijou thought, after making her wish, that that statement...would actually prove true.

**Final Notes: **_Well, as for the Howdy and Dexter deciding not to get married part, I think it was pretty unrealistic (not to mention tacky). But I don't think I'd know how to go into details with it...(nor want to). Oh yeah, and the part when Sandy said: "We were so stupid then" I wanted to explain here. I put that in because whenever we look back at ourselves when we were younger we think: "Wow I can't believe I acted like that," or "Wow! I acted so dumb!". I just thought it'd make sense, and have a very small humorous twist. This chapter, all together, seemed a bit tacky to me (of course, all my writing seems tacky to me, for odd reasons). Anyway, these "Final Notes" (or should I say "Final Paragraph") are coming to a close. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and please review. I need some suggestions too, to what should happen next. Thanks so much for reading! _


	11. Surprises On A Dark Walk Home

**Chapter 11: Surprises On A Dark Walk Home**

**Author's Note: **_Thank you so much to everyone that reviewed! I really appreciate it! It was seriously the best part of writing this FanFic. I'm sad to say that this is coming to an end and that there will only be one or two more chapters after this. =( Well...as for now enjoy the 11th chapter. It's sort of like the climax chapter. As for all you readers out there that are hoping Bijou and Hamtaro'll get back together...it's not fully happening in this chapter. But nevertheless, enjoy!_

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own Hamtaro or any of the other Ham-Hams. (As mentioned in previous chapters)_   
  
_I've never had so much fun in my life,_ Bijou thought, walking home from the Fireworks Party. It had been great. It was a change. At least it was more cheerful than most other things had been. She let out a sigh. The only problem was that it ended **way** too fast. Time was flying too fast. Bijou had remembered last New Year's when she had arrived at the clubhouse for the usual party and countdown. It didn't seem like it was time for New Years to happen. The year had gone by completely too fast and Bijou couldn't help but feel the remainder of her childhood slipping away. It scared her. She gulped and continued onwards with her walk home.  
  
Suddenly, she heard a sigh, followed by a sob. It wasn't from her. Many thoughts floated through her head as she looked around. It was late. Almost everyone had gone to bed by now. She looked around and then noticed a familiar sight under a nearby tree. Sitting under the Great Oak was a orange and white hamster. It was plain...nothing to it. Was it her mind playing tricks? She ventured over a bit closer. It wasn't fake...it was real.  
  
The orange and white hamster took no notice to her presence. He sniffed and sobbed a bit more, directing his glance to the stars. "I wish," he said softly, in a rather upset voice. "That I could take back everything that happened. If there was only some way to change what happened in the past; if there was only some way I could cahnge the way I treated my friends. If there was only some way to restore what I had with Bijou; and find the same love again..." he looked down.  
  
Bijou's eyes widen as soon as she heard her name. It was Hamtaro...only...he wasn't in black. He looked like the hamster she had left; the one she had met so long ago. She swallowed hard. A bit of her was urged to go over and comfort him. But something just wasn't right...was she living a dream?

Somehow, she felt watched. It was dark; she could barely see a thing. It was a new moon that night and the sky was as dark as could be. She could just barely pick up Hamtaro's shaded colors, let alone barely see her way home. Her attention; now drawn completely on the sobbing orange and white hamster was interrupted. She felt a firm paw grab the back of her.  
  
She snapped back into reality. She frowned, finding that no words could escape her. She was being slowly dragged away. She let out a couple high pitch screams, as the big figure continued dragging her forward. She struggled the get loose from the firm grip. Tears started to fall. She was scared; she was scared to death. Where was she going? Would she make it out alive? Who was taking her? Was it someone she knew?  
  
Her mind pondered all these questions. She shut her eyes, letting a couple tears fall, and let out some more cries for help. She saw the shaded orange and white hamster figure, which she had labeled Hamtaro, running after her and her mysterious kidnapper. Would he save her when all other hope was lost? She shivered as she felt a cold breeze. It was way past her bedtime, which was one of the reasons to her weakened senses. She was exhausted. If she wanted anything it was to go to bed.  
  
The large figure continued to drag her forward, as she meanwhile, tried to break loose. It was getting harder every time she tried, as her remaining energy quickly reduced. Her eyes closed and opened as she forced herself to keep awake. Her determination was running low. She needed to rest; all her other friends were in bed.  
  
She started to regret her earlier decisions. Why hadn't she walked home with one of her other friends? Though their homes were no where near the same route it would have increased her comfort. Her friend would have been able to help. She would of felt no where near as alone as she felt now.  
  
The orange and white hamster edged forward, as it became obvious that the identity of him was Hamtaro. Bijou frowned. "Help!" she barely let out. More tears fell.  
  
Hamtaro extended his paw, thinking that it would be possible to pull her out of the kidnapper's grip.  
  
Bijou grabbed his paw quickly, trying to pull loose and away from the thing that was holding onto her so tightly. She tried, but she was exhausted. She closed her eyes briefly, and gave it more effort. "Let me go," she muttered to the kidnapper.  
  
She was ignored. She struggled to break loose a bit more, as Hamtaro tried to pull her out a bit harder. "Leave her alone you complete idiot!" he yelled, trying to get the larger figure's attention.  
  
The larger figure turned around, as his huge eyes glowed a bit in the dark. It was frightening. This larger figure, who was obviously a hamster, just laughed. He ran a bit faster still holding on tightly to his hostage.  
  
But Bijou noticed something else glow in the dark. It was a medallion; a very familiar one. "Boss!" she exclaimed, finally realizing her kidnapper's identity. "I can't believe you'd do this!"  
  
The hamster stopped, and loosened his grip on the white hamster, causing her to fall to the ground. "Yes," he said, blinking twice. "It is me, Boss the Great Field Hamster!" he laughed a bit more. It was now very obvious he was drunk. It was either that or he had completely lost his mind somewhere else.  
  
"You traitor!!" Hamtaro exclaimed. "I thought you were our friend!" He quickly grabbed Bijou's paw and dragged her towards him before Boss could take her again. "You leave us alone, okay!?"  
  
"No!" Boss exclaimed. "Ever since you two started dating I've made a promise to take revenge; on both of you! If I can't have her, nobody can!" He took out the one thing that Bijou would of dreaded to see anywhere else. He took out a gun. "It's a shame I have to give this such a tragic ending like the great play Romeo and Juliet." He looked as if he was about ready to pull the trigger.  
  
Bijou gulped. Was this really the ending? She fought back more tears as suddenly a ray of hope shined from above. There were some flashing of blue and red lights as two miniature police cars drove in, letting out some cop hamsters.  
  
"You're under arrest," the one said, hand-cupping Boss. "For stealing and threatening to kill two innocent hamsters, along with trying to kidnapping one." They took the gun from him and put it in safe keeping.  
  
Boss looked enraged. "You assholes! You haven't heard the last of me! I'll be back and next time and it won't be pretty."  
  
"I highly doubt that," the other cop said, walking over to the panicked Bijou and shocked Hamtaro. "I don't think you'll be seeing these two ever again." He looked at the two hamsters and put on a smile. "It's a little late for any hamster to be out. I'll drive you home."  
  
"I was trying to get home," Bijou said, taking a deep breath. "I ran into Hamtaro on my way back. My house is just up ahead. I can walk."  
  
"I want to take you home personally just to ensure your safety," the officer said, escorting the two into his police car. "Say good-bye to your friend." He said, pointing to Boss. "You, as the my partner said, won't be seeing him again."  
  
"Au revoir Boss!" Bijou said, waving, as the large hamster just rolled his eyes as he was pushed into the car. The other cop laughed and got into their car and drove it away, along with the criminal they had in it.  
  
The trip in the police car home was very short and silent for Bijou as she thanked the officer and made her way back into her cage in her owner's room. Boy, did she have a lot to think about before she went to bed; along with a lot to explain tomorrow at the Clubhouse.

**Final Notes: **_Interesting chapter? I, for once, can't say it was tacky. Oh well. This was pretty fun to write. I hope you had just as much fun reading it. This story, as I said before, is coming to any end (sort of sad to me, I really am having tons of fun writing it). I'm going to start another story when I finish this...the only problem is I don't know what it should be about. It probably won't be about Hamtaro though...or maybe it will. Any suggestions? I'd also like some suggestions for the end. Thanks to every single one of you that reviewed. You're what motivated me, along with inspired me, to finish writing this story. _


	12. Still In Love?

**Chapter 12: Still In Love?**

**Author's Note:** _I'm so sorry for the slow update. I had a serious case of Writer's Block. I'm going to try to make this story 14 or 15 chapters (because 13's an unlucky number and I wouldn't want to end a good story with that amount). As for Hamtaro and Bijou getting together, I'm not that cruel. They will...I just didn't want to spoil the ending._

**Disclaimer: **_I obviously don't own the Ham-Hams. So there. If it wasn't the easiest thing to figure out before..._  
  
The white hamster was silent that night. She couldn't sleep though. Every time she dared to dream all she came up with was a memory. She shivered a bit as she felt a cold chill come from the window. This was odd; it was never that cold in the summer. But no matter how odd it was all the cold did was bring back more unwanted memories.  
  
_Freezing, it was. The white hamster could feel herself shivering in places she never thought she could of. It was one of the coldest days of the year and it was just her luck to be caught in it. Trying to get home before the blizzard came to a climax, the hamster fell short. She was going to literally freeze to death if someone didn't come soon. She struggled to move forward, being very weak. What was usually such a short walk home was taking forever. The snow was almost above her head as she finally collapsed.  
  
"I can't take it anymore!" she said, panicked. She was all alone. This was the end. Or was it? She felt a warm paw take hers and drag her back to the clubhouse. The snow had blinded her eyes making it so that she couldn't see...that or they were frozen. This thought made her giggle the slightest bit.  
  
Back in the warm clubhouse, she felt several warm blankets cover her. Who had taken the liberty to commit such kindness? She finally managed to sit up and open her eyes to see an orange and white hamster sitting nearby. Hamtaro. He was always the hero...and always such a good friend..._  
  
Bijou smiled at remembering this event. There was such compassion through it all...and love. She'd never forget what he did. He was such a hero...even if his life wasn't so perfect anymore. That wasn't the only time he had helped her; or anyone else. He was always there for people. That was...until his life took a wrong turn. She shuddered, suddenly remembering something she had tried her best to have forgotten.  
  
_Eager, that was one word to describe what she was feeling. It had been one whole summer since she saw her friends. One long summer of impatient waiting. But now all of that was going to come to an end.  
  
Carrying a bag full of baguettes and other French goodies, a white hamster wearing a blue French beret walked happily to the Ham-Ham clubhouse. The blue beret really did accent her red hair ribbon as she seemed to be the perfect representation of the French flag colors: blue, red, and white.  
  
She hummed a jolly tune to herself, as she finally arrive to her friends' little hideaway; any hamster's paradise. She knocked, hoping to be the slightest bit more formal then usual. She couldn't wait to see the look on her friends' face when she gave them all her goodies.  
  
But most of all, she couldn't wait to see her one beloved; her dear boyfriend whom she had left.  
  
"A couple months couldn't hurt," she reassured herself. "I bet he's still the same hamster I left!" Admitting this, she put on a smile. He always made her smile. Maybe that's one of the mysterious things love does.  
  
Finally growing impatiently the white hamster opened the door to the clubhouse.  
  
**Splat!**  
  
The hamster dropped her bag flat on the ground. She rubbed her eyes a couple times. Was this real? Looking around, the white hamster tried to identify her friends.  
  
She couldn't.  
  
At first, she thought it was because of the long period of time she spent away from them. Maybe she had so much fun meeting some of the hamsters from France that she forgot what her friends she left at home looked like.  
  
That wasn't true at all.  
  
She could clearly remember what each hamster looked like, even with some of the minor details. She wasn't that forgetful. She wouldn't forget her friends. No, something was different.  
  
Everything was different.  
  
Almost panicking, the white hamster frantically tried to figure out who was who. She trailed over, even greeting them. "Bon jour?" she asked, hoping for a reply.  
  
There came none.  
  
Such rudeness, such it even happen? All this did was leave the poor hamster in a horrible state of confusion. Was it all a dream? One could only hope so. All she knew was this was defiantly something she wanted to be forgotten.  
_  
It wasn't.  
  
Bijou would always try to forget that memory; she'd try to erase it. But you can't erase the past...and sadly, this was something she was learning right then.  
  
_How come the things you want to forget most seem to be the ones you think about most?_ She asked herself.  
  
She could probably spend nights and nights thinking over that question and never come up with an answer.  
  
Heck, Maxwell probably didn't even know.  
  
Some things weren't meant to be answered. Everything happens for a reason. Some reasons are just much harder to figure out.  
  
But then there was everything that had happened today. Bijou had given up all hope in Hamtaro. She had gone through heartbreak and moved on. Yet still...deep inside...she cared. Was this what some would call 'true' love?  
  
What was 'true' love?  
  
That Bijou didn't know. All she could think about; besides those memories, was what had happened that night. It wasn't about Boss turning on her, or about how scary it was walking home in the pitch dark. It was about Hamtaro; and what she had heard earlier.  
  
Did he still care about her?  
  
Did she still care about him?  
  
She couldn't answer that. Closing her eyes, the white hamster thought hard about it. All of sudden, she rested clueless...unsure what love really was.  
  
She understood the love she could feel for a friend; the love she could feel for a family...but that other type...she couldn't.  
  
She didn't get how two people could love each other enough to go through marriage; she didn't get how two people could love each other enough to raise a family together; she didn't get how two people could love each other enough to be partners for life; for better or for worse.  
  
She thought she did...but now...she didn't know.  
  
Feeling helpless, the white hamster sat up in her cage. This confusion she defiantly did not deserve. Why all this trouble over one hamster? Why all these flashbacks and thoughts over one emotion?  
  
How come all of a sudden all she could think about was the mysteries of love and Hamtaro? Wasn't she over him? Wasn't he over her?  
  
Her head landed back down on the soft ground of her cage. She stared up at the ceiling, and then her gaze directed to the stars. "If there's someone up there," she said, looking up at the heavens above. "Do you think you could help me? Everything's so 't you help me figure things out? Please?" she wiped a tear. "Why is everything happening like it is? Can't you help me know? I feel so clueless....just...please? Pretty please with sugar on top?"  
  
She frowned and let out a sigh. "What's the use?" she asked herself. "There's nothing left to have hope in...there's too much confusion in this world. And my life's tied in knots..."  
  
She paused for a moment, suddenly realizing something. "I-I'm no different then the rest..." she looked down. "I'm no better...I-I have a problem too! I'm not the only normal one. I have just as big as a problem as Oxnard did...and now..." she looked away. "I'm afraid that this confusion will lead me to death."  
  
The word death never comforted the white hamster. But did it do that to anyone? Scared, that was what she was. She was scared of what was ahead in life. She was afraid to die...afraid of this word 'death'. And in a sense...she was afraid of love. Suddenly, she felt more alone then ever. She was lacking something and she couldn't figure out what it was.  
  
She couldn't live through life alone anymore. She wouldn't survive alone. Her problem...wasn't one like anorexia nervosa. It wasn't like becoming depressed; it wasn't like drugs or anything. It was a problem of emotion...it was a problem of fear.  
  
Her problem; her once so invisible problem was a little thing called love. And deep down, as Bijou would soon realize, she was still feeling it.

**Final Notes:** _I was getting tired of staying entirely to the story so I used some of this chapter to write flashbacks. It was fun actually. Please review! I really do love hearing your feedback. Who knows? Maybe I'll write a sequel or something to this story. But all you need to know is that it isn't over now! Oh yeah, sorry for any spelling mistakes. I looked over this once...I didn't really want to read over it again._


	13. Mystery Of The Missing Capped One

**Chapter 13: Mystery Of The Missing Capped One**

**Author's Note: **_Yay for another quick update! Well, good news to all of you, this isn't the end of the story. I've decided to add something else to the plot (besides, as I said before, I'm tired of the same idea centering chapters). And since I forgot some of the other Ham-Hams (like Panda and Cappy) I thought I'd add in what happened to them._

**Le Disclaimer: **_I don't own Hamtaro so there. C'est la vie!_  
  
Things are never as bad as they seem. This was proven true that brisk clear morning while a white hamster by the name of Bijou was walking her usual route to the Clubhouse.  
  
There wasn't a sign at all that anything bad was going to happen; especially with the weather. The weather depicted a perfect day full of glorious sunshine and little (or no) rain.  
  
Perhaps, this was the more positive input on things. Bijou, who amazingly got a decent amount of sleep even with last night's pressures, was walking a bit slower then usual.  
  
As if rehearsing for a play, Bijou was saying the same thing over and over, trying to put it in the best words, and get the "American" (or normal as Bijou thought it was) accent right.  
  
"Everyone," she started a bit dull in tone. "Last night, Boss tried to kidnap me. He got arrested." No matter how many times she put it into different wording it sounded just as strange. The whole scenario was strange. Maybe another reason she was walking so slow was because she was hoping Hamtaro would beat her into telling everyone what happened. He was a witness too...and a hero in sense.  
  
Rehearsing her speech again, this time being more detailed, the white hamster heaved a sigh. This wasn't going to be easy. But life wasn't easy, as she had already learned. You just had to be a bit more positive about things.  
  
You needed to look at life thinking that the "glass" was half full rather than half empty...at least, that was Bijou's perspective.  
  
Finally arriving at the Clubhouse, she rehearsed once more before opening the doors. She put on a fake cheerful smile, and ventured in to see what everyone else was doing (if anyone else was there). She had come rather early, maybe because the pressure was killing her in a sense...or something much like it. She just wanted to get it over with.  
  
Surprisingly, everyone was there. Pashmina, Stan, Maxwell, Sandy, Howdy, Dexter, and just about everyone else were seated around the table, as if they were having another meeting.  
  
"Bonjour everyone!" Bijou cheerfully said (or tried to act cheerful at the least). The rest of the Ham-Hams stared right at her, and smiled as well.  
  
"We heard what happened last night," Pashmina finally admitted, looking down.  
  
"What do ya mean we heard what happen!?" Howdy exclaimed in his Western accent. "Everyone knows what happened!"  
  
"Lay it on her, won't you?" Sandy exclaimed. "Bijou has been through a lot, give her some credit. Maybe we should like hear her side of the story."  
  
"..." Bijou was short on words. All that rehearsing for nothing? What a shame...  
  
"Well, if you ask me," Maxwell insightfully said. "I would think Bijou would like to stay away from the subject. Besides, that's not the only reason we called this meeting to order."  
  
It seemed as if Maxwell was taking place as leader...at least that's what Bijou's prediction was...or maybe he was always leader. That just let on a series of more thoughts to befuddle the innocent white hamster. She took her usual center seat and nodded.  
  
"Oui," she said, using French once again. As much as she would try to avoid her native language she really couldn't. "I'd really appreciate it if we didn't talk about it. What's the other problem?" she asked, having no clue to what it was.  
  
"Cappy," Maxwell answered, drawing a pretty low rate drawing of the hamster that always had his head in pots...or other hats. "We haven't seen him for a long time."  
  
"The craft store is still open," Dexter logically said. "I just passed by it the other day. Things are still running smoothly..."  
  
"But like, Cappy hasn't been to the Clubhouse in ages." Sandy announced.  
  
Bijou frowned and nodded. "Yeah, I wonder what happened..."  
  
"That's exactly what we're going to find out!" Maxwell said, as if he was looking forward to the new mission.  
  
Bijou looked around the table, suddenly noticing Hamtaro's absence. Was he sick? This just caused her to worry. She drew her attention back to Maxwell.  
  
"Well," Maxwell said, writing on the chalkboard with a white piece of chalk. "There are many possible solutions to this case." He turned back to the group. "One may be that he's been sick for awhile..."  
  
"If he was like sick," Sandy started. "His owners would like take him to the vet." She tilt her head. "His owners totally spoil him."  
  
"Now's not the time to be getting into whether Cappy's spoiled or not." Maxwell said to Sandy.  
  
"Whatever," Sandy muttered, turning away. The couple still wasn't on good terms since the whole episode that had happened in the last week.  
  
"The second solution is that Cappy hasn't been feeling up to coming to the Clubhouse." Maxwell said, feeling rather professional.  
  
"Why wouldn't he want to come to the Clubhouse to see us?" Pashmina asked, a bit insulted.  
  
"Well," Maxwell said. "No offence or anything but some of us did look rather scary and weren't much of a joy to be around..."  
  
Pashmina frowned. "Maybe..." she said, turning away as well, thinking back on her "punk" days.  
  
"And the third solution is that Cappy was kidnapped." Maxwell said, as many of the hamsters' eyes widen.  
  
"There have been some wanted posters with a hamster that looks a lot like Cappy," pointed out Dexter. "I've seen them on my walks home."  
  
"So have I!" exclaimed Sandy. "Maybe he like did get kidnapped."  
  
"I must admit, I've seen them too and they do look an awful lot like Cappy..." Maxwell said. "But where could he be?"  
  
This caused silence among all the Ham-Hams. It'd be hard to find someone that was missing for so long.  
  
"Maybe I should get a poster," Maxwell said, walking out of the Clubhouse.  
  
As if it was a cue, chatter began among the Ham-Hams. First in whispers, then in regular volume.  
  
"So like," Sandy said. "What really did happen last night?" Her curiosity had gotten the best of her...that was one thing that was certain.  
  
"Well," Bijou frowned. "I guess I could tell you." She sighed and looked down, a bit uncomfortable with the whole thing. "Remember when I offered to stay and help clean up with you?" she asked.  
  
"Yeah," Sandy said. "You went back to the Clubhouse to like put everything away and I went home..."  
  
"When I got out of the Clubhouse I took the usual route home...but it was really dark..." Bijou continued.  
  
"I would figure," Dexter commented, listening in on the conversation. "The party lasted until after twelve and not to mention it was a new moon."  
  
"I stayed there about another hour or so to clean up," Bijou said to Dexter. "Well, anyway," she said, trying to maintain a normal accent for about the millionth time. "I could barely see anything. But since I pretty much memorized the walk home I was sure I could make it."  
  
"I don't know about that Bijou," Pashmina said. "I was positive you were going to walk home with Sandy. I would have stayed a bit longer if you weren't. It's really dangerous at night."  
  
"Me and Sandy's homes are no where near each other," Bijou said with a frown. "It'd just take longer and one of us would end up walking alone anyway..."  
  
"True," Dexter replied. "Go on."  
  
"I heard some sobbing and I followed the sound. As I said before, I could barely see but it looked like Hamtaro was sitting under a tree crying." Deciding to leave out what Hamtaro said, Bijou went on. "Suddenly this firm paw grabbed me from behind. I couldn't get out of his grip."  
  
There were a few gasps in the crowd (mostly from the girls), as all the Ham- Hams' attention were now on Bijou's story.  
  
"He kept dragging me," Bijou said with a frown. "I tried to scream for help but at first the words wouldn't come. Luckily Hamtaro saw what happened and started chasing after the kidnapper. He had me take his paw and try to pull me out of the guy's grip."  
  
"Aww..." Pashmina said. "That sounds like something Hamtaro would do..."  
  
"More like anyone would do!" Howdy snapped. "Who wouldn't help a lady in that situation?"  
  
"Yeah, but he finally stopped and dropped me." Bijou said, referring to the kidnapper. "Hamtaro dragged me towards him and then-" The white hamster fell short on words and a bit pale. The memory was frightening especially when you were victim to it.  
  
"Then what?" Sandy said, on the edge of her seat.  
  
"And then he took out a gun..." Bijou said, almost to the point of tears.  
  
Pashmina and Sandy gasped once again, as the other's eyes widen.  
  
"You poor thing..." Pashmina said, also noticing Hamtaro's absence. "He didn't shoot Hamtaro did he?"  
  
"He would of," Bijou said in a cold distant voice. "He would have shot both of us if the police hadn't come from some miracle."  
  
"Oh thank goodness!" Pashmina exclaimed.  
  
Bijou put on a small smile. "Then the police arrested the kidnapper and took us home," she ended happily. "And that's why Boss is in jail."  
  
"So from what you're saying," Pashmina said, with widen eyes. "Boss was the kidnapper."  
  
"Yeah," Bijou said. "He was. And he was real scary too. I think he was drunk..."  
  
"He probably was," Dexter suggested. "I don't think Boss would do that if he wasn't."  
  
"He may," Pashmina debated. "He's been real weird lately anyway..."  
  
"I can't believe he'd turn on us like that," Sandy said.  
  
"Me either," Bijou replied. The rest agreed.  
  
"Will you have to go to his trial?" Dexter asked.  
  
"Probably," Bijou said, letting out another sigh. "I'd rather not think about it."  
  
"Ohmigosh Bijou!" Sandy exclaimed. "I had like NO clue it was like that. I'm totally sorry for making you tell us."  
  
"It's okay," Bijou said. "Besides, it wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be."  
  
"You poor babe," Stan said, putting a paw on Bijou's shoulder, not resisting the chance to flirt the slightest bit with her.  
  
"It's over now," Bijou said. "We're all okay. All I can say is thank god for police!"  
  
The Ham-Hams laughed at this little comment.  
  
"Next time," Sandy said. "We're like defiantly walking home together..."  
  
And with this, Maxwell walked back in the Clubhouse door, wanted poster in his hand.

**Final Notes: **_Well, I thought this was an interesting chapter. Though it did pretty much retell what happened in the last couple chapters or so this is good for new readers that are too lazy (much like me) to read the whole story over. I love hearing suggestions and feedback from you! Please review! (And also, sorry for the grammer and spelling mistakes, again, I was too lazy to read over it twice)_


	14. The Sad Truth, aka Change is Constant

**Chapter 14: The Sad Truth (aka Change is Constant)**

**Author's Note: **_Well, I have to say this is the downright weirdest chapter I ever wrote. Time for more reflections! So I call it... _

**Le Disclaimer: **_I do not own Hamtaro...if you didn't see this same disclaimer in prior chapters..._

The Ham-Hams spent the reminder of the day searching frantically for Cappy. They searched almost everywhere they could. But it was a bit of a worthless cause. How can you find something if you have no clue whatsoever where it is? There were no clues; no clues were found. It was like Cappy was...forgotten.  
  
As much as the Ham-Hams hated to admit defeat, defeat had admitted itself. It was a hopeless cause; a wasted day. They needed something to give them some direction. It was as if they were fighting for an impossible dream. But it wasn't impossible. They all knew that. If they gave it everything they had, they could accomplish that. Life was an adventure. They weren't going to give up on this one. No, not when it was all to find a missing friend. Heck, who would give up? This was serious. This wasn't like a tea party, or little child game. This was important; a case of life and death. Hopefully Cappy wasn't dead...  
  
Eventually time grew low for the Ham-Hams. The sun was setting; which meant time to go home before their beloved owners would get worried (if they did). Still, they were exhausted. It wasn't an easy day. It was more like a hard and frustrating one. Bijou went home both exhausted and angry...along with worried. Was it really too late?  
  
She climbed up the tree and hopped back into her cage from the open window sill. Opening the cage door, the white hamster was greeted by that morning's uneaten breakfast. She quickly took a sunflower seed and munched it down. Ever since Oxnard died, she'd never go a day without eating. It was her promise she had made during Oxnard's funeral. She wasn't going to let what happened to him happened to her.  
  
She watched as her worn-out owner entered the room. Opening a study book, it looked as if Maria was going to get some homework done, while Bijou, not being acknowledged at all (or given fresh water or sunflower seeds), sighed and looked out the window. It was times like this she could reflect and think best; that is besides in the middle of the night or on a rainy day.  
  
The white hamster got in a comfortable position and sighed. Was Cappy going to be okay? Or was he already dead? Would the clues lead up? Were there any clues?  
  
Bijou didn't know. It seemed she didn't know anything anymore. She really did miss the days when life was as carefree as a smooth, calm breeze on a cloudy day. She missed the days when she could relax; she missed the days when she could be dependent on her friends.  
  
She was independent now. Her friends weren't always going to be there; so she learned. It was a rather negative view, but it was true. They weren't always going to be by your side. Everything comes to an end. Did that mean her friendships would?  
  
Friends forever? Was that phase even true? How could you be 'friends forever'? You just grow apart. Their thoughts raced through Bijou's head, as she frowned a bit. Life goes forward, it doesn't stop. People change. You just have to enjoy things while they last. Make the best of it. You don't know what you have until it's gone....  
  
Bijou swallowed hard on the last part. She had realized that; many times. She had realized that with her owner, her friends, Hamtaro...  
  
She paused once again. Why did all her thoughts always end up at the beginning; at that one stupid hamster? She went on.  
  
If people change, it means you do. You change. You aren't the same. A good thing can go bad...and then Bijou stopped her thoughts. "Have I changed for the worse?" she asked.  
  
Would she even get an answer? That was opinion. Some would say she's grown up to be a great person (or hamster for that matter) while others...they disagree.  
  
Maybe it was true she had been a bit of a snob; a bit of a bitch...as Hamtaro put it when they first met again...  
  
But she didn't want to be that. She wanted to be a good person. She wanted to be perfect...  
  
Everything has its flaws...  
  
Was being perfect impossible? Bijou sighed to see she would have to face the truth.  
  
It was.  
  
It wasn't worth acting anymore. It wasn't worth holding in emotions. Tears down poured from Bijou's eyes. She didn't want to die. She didn't want to change. She wanted to keep things the same. Things were changing way too fast. And now, it seemed it was hard to make even a moment of time last...  
  
Why was life so hard? Why were things so different? She'd puzzle the thought before, but now, even with some of the Ham-Hams' problems solved, life was harder than it ever was.  
  
These were the teenage years. She would have to make the best of them. A lot of people had and are going to tell her what to do; there are going to be a lot of decisions. She'd have to trust her conscience; follow her intuition. She'd have to choose right from wrong. But sometimes...it was hard.  
  
Sometimes the message wasn't clear. How did anyone survive these crazy years? How can people make it without getting their hearts broken? How can they make it without giving up?  
  
They just...did. Everyone got their hearts broken; Bijou knew it was true. But she didn't want to get hers broken. It had already been broken once before. Would it hurt even more? She was scared...  
  
Life was one scary thing. No longer was it just a walk in the park; a piece of pie. It was...what was life anyway? A definition couldn't ever answer this question. This was something experience would do. This was an opinion, not a fact.  
  
And speaking of definitions, could a dictionary even get anywhere near defining the mysterious definition of love? No, it couldn't. It could never even cover the basics. Everything was so much more than people made it.  
  
Now, she was experiencing it; learning for herself. Things that never mattered as a kid, matter now. She was learning something new everyday, just like everyone else did. She was finding new talents, discovering new flaws.  
  
And through it all, she was just living. She was just living her life. It was hard at times, but there were a lot of advantages.  
  
Seasons change, time flies by. No day is ever the same. And that was what made life interesting. No person you'd ever meet would be the same. Bijou could easily see that between her friends. Life was in her own paws, and she could do anything with it.  
  
She could maybe even make the world a better place.  
  
But how? That was the next thought that popped into Bijou's head. Things were all twisted up right now. There was a knot everywhere she could name there possibly being one. Discomfort, uneasiness, fear, never having a situation such as the one being thrown before you.  
  
She'd make it through though. Through all the bad things that happened she could see a ray of light; a ray of hope. Life would go on; time would heal.  
  
She'd handle the situations of discomfort and be proud of doing so. She'd learn; she'd grow, and maybe even the days of hardship (much like those now) would be turned back into the happy, carefree days that were in her childhood. She could do it. She just would have to look at life in a different way.  
  
She'd need to see things from a positive perspective. She'd need to encourage herself through the bad. She'd need to hold on when things got tough. Because at the end of life's cold dark tunnel was light. There was glorious sunshine; there was reward.  
  
If she applied herself to making it to the light; getting out of the darkness; then she could accomplish it. She could make it; she could make it pass the distractions and get her reward. No matter how long it took; no matter how much she wanted to give up; she'd just have to do it. She'd just have to stay focused.  
  
It was time to fix things.  
  
And that was true. As much as Bijou didn't want to face her problems, she'd need to if she ever wanted to get to that rainbow; that light. And for starters, she'd need to face the one person who she had been avoiding; she'd need to face the one problem she feared to look on. She'd need to find a way through...she'd need to talk. But it wasn't the talking part that she was scared of...it was who.  
  
That person that she needed to fix things with; the one person that could never escape her mind; the one problem that would always stay if not consulted; that one problem that kept her from being completely satisfied...  
  
She'd need to find a way to work things out with Hamtaro...she'd need to find a way to get passed the discomfort; she need to find a way to figure out if she was still in love...and something deep down told her that this was the only way; this was what she needed to do...  
  
It may be just a feeling; but it was instruction. It was the direction the Ham-Hams didn't have with finding Cappy. But maybe, if this worked; maybe if her intuition proved more than just a feeling; then she could apply it in other places...maybe she could piece together the pieces of the puzzle...maybe somehow she could make the world a better place...and just maybe she could be more than who she was.  
  
As the white hamster soon settled, as her constant thoughts came to an end; she shut her eyes. As her real thoughts of reality grew less frequent; as she entered her fantasy world; she realized one thing.  
  
Reflecting on everything she had thought about before; putting it into little words; she could honestly say that this was the sad truth. Life's sad truth that she would have to overcome...she had some direction now...a prediction...and maybe now...life would get just the slightest bit...easier.

**Final Notes:** _I don't know if these reflection chapters are doing any good to this story; all I know is that they give a bit more understanding into what the main character's feeling (yes, the main character is Bijou, seeing this is written centering her) and that one of my strengths in writing is expressing emotion (at least I think). You could probably rewrite this whole story centering Hamtaro and have a completely different and still fairly interesting story. I'm not going to do it, but it'd be sort of cool if someone else (or maybe me someday) did. It'd be rather interesting to compare. Please review! You be the judge if this was a wasted chapter or not! Sorry for any grammer of spelling mistakes (same case as last time)_


	15. Things Are Never As They Seem

**Chapter 15: Things Are Never As They Seem...**

**Author's Note: **_Well, here it is, another chapter! This isn't the best chapter, I have to say....but...it's a chapter. I'm having major Writer's Block with this story. I think I need some time away from it...or some new, good suggestions._

**Le Disclaimer:**_ I don't own Hamtaro. It's pretty obvious._  
  
It was a light, almost unnoticeable morning as a white hamster walked to the Clubhouse silently. There was a light breeze, which caused her to feel like hardly anything at all. She yawned here and there. A morning like this only made her feel more tired.  
  
There was no sun; it was just a shady morning. The temperature was nice, but barely noticeable, just like the rest of the details.  
  
Everything was so calm; there were no problems just....life. Bijou was still half asleep as she lazily opened the Clubhouse door.  
  
She was suddenly awakened.  
  
"Maxwell!" yelled a very enraged orange hamster, with "tiger" stripes. "How could you do that!? I mean, really! You have to go to my brother and talk about me behind my back! That's so low!"  
  
Sandy and Maxwell were sitting at the table across from each other. Bijou frowned. They'd get mad at her if she appeared out of nowhere. It was wrong to eavesdrop. But Bijou's curiosity couldn't help but take over here as she leaned against the wall slyly.  
  
"Low!?" Maxwell exclaimed. "You've been shutting me out for the last couple months! I had to find out what was wrong! I was worried Sandy!"  
  
"So!? I can't even talk to my own brother about stuff without everyone hearing! GOD!" Sandy frowned. "I'm fine okay!?"  
  
"Your brother said you haven't been eating nearly as much and been avoiding social events..."  
  
"Oh god no!" Sandy cried. "You like know how Oxnard's death affected me!! I'd never become an anorexic!"  
  
"Well, I still can't help but worry, Sandra!" Maxwell said.  
  
"Sandra!?" Sandy exclaimed. "Don't you DARE call me that, Maxi!"  
  
"Why have you been avoiding me?" he asked.  
  
"Oh, why don't you like just go ask my brother that?" Sandy narrowed her eyes. "He'll tell you."  
  
"Sandy, you're taking this completely the wrong way!"  
  
"Wrong way!?" Sandy turned away. "I have reasons I've been avoiding you."  
  
"Oh god, Sandy, what?" Maxwell screamed. "We're getting married in a few damn months! Are you too nervous to get around me because you're afraid what almost happened will?"  
  
"Maybe..." Sandy whispered, pausing after.  
  
"What was that?" Maxwell asked, still in the same loud volume. "I couldn't hear you!"  
  
"Yes," Sandy said, looking Maxwell straight in the eye. "That's why I've been avoiding you. You happy now?" A tear fell.  
  
"So my prediction was right..." Maxwell said, slyly, inching closer.  
  
Sandy backed away. "Don't get any closer you pervert!"  
  
"Pervert!?" Maxwell exclaimed. "Since when am I a pervert?"  
  
"None of your business," Sandy frowned, being obstinate.  
  
"Well, sweetheart, we are getting married. You need to tell me things...."  
  
"I don't know if I like even _wanna _get married anymore..." Sandy said, on the verge of tears.  
  
Bijou's eyes widen. Sandy and Maxwell were considering_ not_ getting married!? But they looked so happy together...  
  
"You don't know?" Maxwell frowned, a bit hurt. "But Sandy...we've been together for-"  
  
"I don't know anymore, Maxwell," Sandy frowned. "I don't know if I wanna spend my whole life with you."  
  
"But-" Maxwell looked a bit heartbroken.  
  
"I'm totally sorry Maxwell," Sandy said, looking down. "I just...you know..." She sighed.  
  
"No I don't," Maxwell said, looking down. "Tell me now..."  
  
Sandy sighed, and got up, taking her dance ribbon along. "I need some time to think about things, Maxwell..."  
  
"How long?" he questioned.  
  
"I don't know how long..." Sandy answered, heading towards the door.  
  
Bijou's eyes widen. Her cover was about to be blown. It'd be so embarrassing facing those two. They'd be so mad.  
  
"Sandy, please!" Maxwell called before she left. "Can we please just...talk?"  
  
The hamster frowned, and looked over at Maxwell. She slowly walked back over, as Bijou's eyes widen. She wrapped her arms around Maxwell and just sobbed softly.  
  
The white hamster looked down. This really wasn't her place to be getting into. She slowly opened the door, and as silently as she could, walked out.  
  
It was so quiet outside. She looked to the side. It didn't look like anyone was going to come to the Clubhouse. Maybe they were all searching...she was surprised Maxwell and Sandy weren't. She began walking; to no where in particular.  
  
Sometimes it wasn't the destination that mattered; it was just...getting there. Bijou's favorite parts of trips were the rides or walks there. Her mind was more opened; it paid more attention to details. It was more inspired.  
  
Her eyes looked down at the ground as she kept walking. She saw leaves, grass, flowers...some of nature's beauties...  
  
She said nothing; she really had nothing to say. She closed her eyes, and then spotted a hill. She rushed over to it, and took a seat. Her journey stopped there as she remembered the memory that went with this hill.  
  
But she didn't want to remember.  
  
She laid back, and closed her eyes, trying to erase her thoughts of that memory. She didn't want to think about her problems and this would only bring them up.  
  
Again, there were some things she didn't want to remember.  
  
Too much was going on right now. With the sudden 'kidnapping', Oxnard's death, Cappy missing, and Maxwell and Sandy considering breaking up there was too much going on with her friends...and with her.  
  
There was still Hamtaro to talk to. Only she was procrastinating. It was wrong of her to do so; especially after last night's endless thoughts and how they would keep bothering her until she did get the guts to talk to him.  
  
The white hamster looked down. When would she stop making excuses for herself and just face her problems? She encouraged herself to numerous times but the encouragement just didn't work. By the time she actually got to taking action she'd just become nervous again; unwilling to face her problems.  
  
She'd wait for Hamtaro to take the action. Surely he was facing the same thing. Or she'd wait for something else to come up. Surely it would distract her and make her forget. But it wouldn't; nothing will.  
  
Bijou looked up at the clouds. It wasn't until she noticed that one of the clouds were shaped an awfully lot like Hamtaro that her frustration and anger boiled to its limits.  
  
She stood up and looked at the sky, and mainly that one cloud. She wanted to scream; she really wanted to be heard. "STOP IT ALREADY!" she nearly yelled. "I HATE YOU HAMTARO!" her paws were in fists. "ALL YOU DO IS BOTHER ME DAY AND NIGHT AND I DON'T KNOW WHY! AND GOD, IT'S ANNOYING! JUST STAY OUT OF MY THOUGHTS! Please?"  
  
Panting, the white hamster felt somewhat less angry; as if she got a lot off of her. She sat back down and buried her faces in her paws; sobbing softly just like Sandy had with Maxwell.  
  
Hopefully no one heard that little outburst. She didn't really hate Hamtaro; it was just her feelings taking over. Her frustration made her say stuff that wasn't true.

She wanted someone to hold onto just like Sandy had with Maxwell. She was scared to face her problems, and that was the truth. Life was so hard lately...too much was going on...  
  
She finally got up after what seemed like hours and then just let out a sigh. She made a final promise to herself that she would get to talking to Hamtaro. No more procrastinating. She'd talk to him...even if it was the last thing she did.

**Final Notes:** _Well, another very plain chapter. It wasn't too shabby but it wasn't "great". Please review nevertheless. I need some suggestions. Even if you don't...thanks for reading anyway..._


	16. An Oddly Plain Morning

**Chapter 16: An Oddly Plain Morning**

**Author's Note: **_Thank you SO much for reviews and suggestions! I needed some, I seriously did! Just to know that writing a chapter isn't a waste of time is good enough for me to go on and write another._

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own Hamtaro. It's obvious._  
  
_What's life without conflict? There's no such thing. Problems arise and it's your job to face them. Solutions come with time; or maybe no time at all. There are some conflicts however that are harder to face. These are life's little predicaments. Whether it's revolved around feelings or just a very uncomfortable situation these problems have to be over come. And they will...with time and new experiences.  
_  
Bijou closed her little journal that night, satisfied with her work. She had kept a journal for a very long time. It was a place to record what she was feeling; along with look back at her life. Life was such a precious thing; why not record it? Who knew...maybe someday she'd use her journal and write a long autobiography...  
  
Surprisingly, that night she slept the best she had in months. With little thought or objection she slept soundly through the night soon to be greeted with the morning sun. It was a new day.  
  
She looked over at her owner's bed and heaved a sigh. Gone already? Maria had to get up pretty early to go to high school...but the odd part was it was summer. Bijou was surprised her owner wasn't sleeping in. She shrugged it off, and hurried to the Clubhouse.  
  
Maria had been forgetful and forgotten to leave Bijou breakfast again, which was no conflict for her whatsoever. The Clubhouse was stocked with food. She usually would get her breakfasts there.  
  
She entered the Clubhouse with her intuition giving her a very odd feeling about the day. Something unexpected was going to happen. It was just a feeling; but it was the least bit trustworthy.  
  
Unusually, the Clubhouse was more full then empty that morning. Usually it was just Bijou that early in the morning (it was around 8 or 9...) but instead there were a few others.  
  
Pashmina was there, with a very stressed look on her face. She looked very worried and anxious about something; though the white hamster had no clue whatsoever to what it was.  
  
Sandy was there as well, acting a bit morose and uncertain. She sat across the table from Pashmina, just playing around with her coffee mug handle.  
  
And finally, Dexter was there polishing one of his many pairs of glasses. He looked a bit eager, but worried at the same time. Bijou predicted that this was because of Cappy's disappearance.  
  
She sighed and took a seat. Perhaps she could lift the mood of the hamsters in the Clubhouse. There was nothing to worry about this morning anyway, so she thought. Hamtaro was off her mind for once; along with Cappy. She was too impressed with having her good night of sleep to be thinking about anything else then the cheerfulness of the morning sun. "Good morning everyone!" she happily said.  
  
The three shot her awkward glances. "Err...good morning Bijou," Pashmina was the first to speak up.  
  
"Yeah..." Sandy said, blinking twice. "Like good morning?" she said, surprised at the sudden cheerfulness in the white hamster.  
  
"It's nice to see you bright and shining, Bijou," Dexter politely (and a bit enviously) commented.  
  
"Thank you," Bijou said, flattered. She walked over to the food storage room and grabbed a couple of sunflower seeds and then went over and got herself a coffee. She sat back at the table, happily eating her breakfast.  
  
The other three just watched silently. There was nothing really to talk about that morning. The day seemed plain...quite oddly.  
  
"So," Pashmina said, blinking twice. "Has anyone seen Hamtaro lately?" she questioned. "He was at the Clubhouse yesterday and I was meaning to ask him something but I never got a chance to talk to him."  
  
Bijou's eyes widen at the name. "He was?" she asked, looking up from her coffee and sunflower seeds. "I don't remember seeing him. No one was here when I came..." she fibbed, noting Sandy was here.  
  
"Yeah, we were like all searching for Cappy yesterday." Sandy said. "You probably came a little late." She shrugged and looked away.  
  
_Looks like she still isn't on good terms with Maxwell,_ Bijou thought, seeing Sandy was not all that cheerful like she was. "So, did you find him?" she questioned.  
  
"Nope," Pashmina answered. "Still no clues..." she looked down. "I'm starting to think it's a bit too late with him..."  
  
All four Ham-Hams sighed.  
  
"It's so quiet without Boss here..." Dexter said. "He'd always have this place full of chatter."  
  
Bijou narrowed her eyes. She was never too big on Boss. And now, due to the prior events she had no trust in him whatsoever. Soon they'd be in trial though...which wasn't something she was looking forward to. Actually, she wasn't looking forward to it _at_ _all_. More like dreading it...  
  
Pashmina sighed and nodded. "And it's so quiet without Oxnard too...I feel like I've lost two of my best friends..."  
  
Sandy nodded as well. "Like, nothing's the same anymore..."  
  
All four could easily agree to that.  
  
"Oui," Bijou answered, using her native language again, non-purposely. "Everything's changing."  
  
"I wish things were like they were when we were little," Pashmina stated. "Don't you remember all the fun adventures we went on? You know, with Penelope, Panda, Oxnard...and just about everyone else..."  
  
"What happened to us?" Dexter asked with a sigh.  
  
"We grew up..." Sandy answered, narrowing her eyes.  
  
"Time flies..." Dexter admitted, heaving a sigh.  
  
"So, do you think anyone else is coming today?" Bijou asked, trying to stick to a regular American accent once again.  
  
"Maybe..." Pashmina answered.  
  
"My brother said he's coming later," Sandy added.  
  
"What about Maxwell?" Bijou couldn't help but try to get into how Sandy's relationship with him was going; curiosity killed the cat they say.  
  
But satisfaction brought him back.  
  
Bijou eagerly waited for an answer. The orange "tiger striped" hamster shot Bijou an annoyed yet innocent look.  
  
"I don't know and I like don't care if he's coming," she said, turning away.  
  
Dexter looked a bit shocked at Sandy's reply. "What do you mean?" he asked. "You and Maxwell are hardly ever apart."  
  
Sandy couldn't help but laugh. "Are you like serious? I've barely been with him at all this month..."  
  
_You were sure cozy with him yesterday,_ Bijou thought.  
  
Pashmina's eyes widen. "But isn't the wedding in October?" she questioned.  
  
Sandy sighed. "I don't know if there even is going to be a wedding." She was willing to talk about this problem with her friends. Pashmina and Bijou were her two best friends, and Dexter was pretty close.  
  
The two looked shock. "There isn't!?" both Dexter and Pashmina exclaimed.  
  
Bijou tried her best to act surprised. "What happened?" she asked, with her eyes widen.  
  
"Well, I don't know," Sandy said. "I don't really know if I'm like ready to make a huge commitment like that to Maxwell...he's sort of weird...and untrustworthy."  
  
"What are you talking about!?" Dexter asked "You two love each other!"  
  
Sandy frowned. "I know, but I like don't know if I love him enough to do that. I need to be serious, Dexter. This is like the rest of my life we're talking about!"  
  
"Still..." Pashmina's eyes widen. "You two were so eager about it a couple of months ago..."  
  
"I didn't realize what I was like doing a couple of months ago," Sandy said, heaving a sigh. "You two have no idea what it's like. Pashmina, you've like never been on a date, and Bijou...you haven't even been in a long term relationship before. And Dexter...you're about the closest to knowing what I'm going through..."  
  
Dexter looked embarrassed. "So I am..." he said, looking away.  
  
Bijou and Pashmina couldn't help laughing.  
  
Sandy shot them an annoyed glance. "This is serious, you two. Dexter almost got married!"  
  
"Thank god he didn't," Pashmina muttered.  
  
Dexter looked down once again, blushing terribly. He felt so foolish. How could he have ever done such a thing? It was so disgusting...and wrong.  
  
Sandy sighed. "Whatever. But still...marriage is big! Next is having a kid, and things don't get much bigger than that!"  
  
Bijou and Pashmina nodded in agreement.  
  
"Well, it would break Maxwell's heart if you didn't tie the knot," Dexter stated. "You two have been dating for over 2 years..."  
  
"More than that," Sandy said. "I lost track after two years and 37 days!"  
  
"You were counting!?" Pashmina exclaimed.  
  
"What girl wouldn't?" Sandy questioned.  
  
"Err..." Pashmina hesitated. She had no experience whatsoever in the dating field.  
  
Bijou frowned. "I sort of counted the days I dated Hamtaro..." she said.  
  
"Are you _suppose_ to?" Pashmina asked.  
  
"I doubt so, Pashmina..." Dexter replied. "It's not required."  
  
Pashmina let out a sigh of relief. "Good..."  
  
"So err..." Sandy hesitated. "Who's up for a nice long game of..." she paused once again.  
  
"Why don't we play croquet?" Bijou suggested.  
  
The other three nodded in agreement as the white hamster went outside to set the croquet game up.

**Final Notes:** _Long, not so depressing chapter. I thought the chapter was pretty good...a lot better than my last one. Well, please review anyways. And thank you so much Aaron and all you other reviewers! I really appreciate your reviews! Sorry for the spelling or grammer mistakes! Again, I read this over once, not twice...and still, you can't catch all the mistakes sometimes..._


	17. Realization

**Chapter 17: Realization**

**Author's Note:** _I'm so sorry for the late update. I've been working on another story (not a FanFic) and been on vacation. Not to mention I haven't really known what to write for this one. Well, enjoy this chapter! I'll have the next one soon, I promise!_

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own Hamtaro or the Ham-Hams._

The rest of the day was full of fun and laughs. While playing croquet, the Ham-Hams would bring up some humorous situations they had been in when they were little and how stupid they acted compared to now.

Bijou went home in a very good mood after that wonderful afternoon. She let out a yawn. Believe it or not, spending a couple hours playing a simple game like croquet was exhausting. She frowned a bit, looking over at her cage. Maria had forgotten to feed her again.

It was no problem really; seeing she was hardly ever fed by her owner. Her owner was very forgetful...at least she was now, with her boyfriend always hanging around. Nothing seems to matter when you're in love...

The white hamster layed down, looking out the bedroom window once again. A single star was visible, as she closed her eyes and recited a poem that went with it.

"Starlight, star bright; First star I see tonight; I wish I may, I wish I might; Have the wish I wish tonight...." She said, barely above a whisper. She silently made a single wish to herself, before she went to bed. She fell asleep with no debate; only to find her dream was another flashback of the past.

_Life was good. Life was great. The young white hamster happily spun around, humming a cheerful tune to herself. Nothing in the world seemed to matter; nothing in the world would bring her down._

_She looked between her many ribbons, trying to figure out which two to wear. Which ones would Hamtaro notice most?_

_She giggled to herself, drawing two glittering red ones from the pile. Red was a color of love; romance. A red rose meant true love..._

_She let out a dreamy sigh. But wasn't what she and Hamtaro had that? In her point of view, their relationship was going to last forever; nothing would bring them apart. They were an inseparable duo. Everyone in the Clubhouse had clearly made that observation. They were worse then Sandy and Maxwell. No matter what they did; no matter what they'd say they'd always end up talking (or thinking) about each other. They'd hold hands, giggle and blush; just like every other couple would do._

_They'd have picnics; sit under the stars; laugh a little more; give each other a little peck on the cheek. They'd cuddle; hug; kiss; everything known to the world of love. Well, almost everything. There were some things they hadn't done. Things they weren't exactly comfortable with._

_They would wait to do one thing in particular...unlike the other Ham-Ham couple in the Clubhouse. They had both decided from day 1 of their relationship to wait until they got married to do anything more then kiss. But was there any doubt they wouldn't get married?_

_None at all, in Bijou's point of view. She was so happy; it was as if everything bad was shaded out of her life. Her life was full of eternal sunshine...never to be blocked with clouds or rain. Life was perfect. Everything was right. Nothing could go wrong._

_And nothing would. The white hamster waited patiently at the door of her cage. Hamtaro would be here soon. He always came to pick her up in the mornings. _

_And she always eagerly awaited his arrival. She thought and dreamed about it. Every new day was more romantic then the last...she sighed. How could things work out so perfectly? _

_There was a soft knock at her cage door. "Hamtaro!?" she greeting the orange and white hamster with a big smile._

_"I got here as fast as I could, Bijou!" Hamtaro smiled a bit, offering her a bouquet of roses. "I like your red ribbons. They look really pretty on you." _

_Bijou blushed a bit. "You look rather handsome yourself," she said, with a mischievous smirk, as she opened her cage door and the two departed._

_Where were they going today? Only time would tell. They'd go anywhere, as long as it was together. It didn't really matter at all to them what the others thought. No, not when they were in love. _

_"Oh Hamtaro," she said, resting her head peacefully on his shoulders. "Isn't everything so perfect?"_

_The orange and white hamster smiled. "I couldn't have asked for a more perfect day. I'm here with the most beautiful hamster in the world and the sun is shining! There's not a cloud in the sky, Bijou..."_

_"And it's like there's no worries in our lives..." the white hamster smiled a bit more. She playfully tackled Hamtaro, as they layed flat on top of a hill. She giggled a bit and started tickling him. "I know you're ticklish Hamtaro," she said, smiling a bit more._

_He laughed. "Stop it Bijou," he said, playfully as well. "You know how much I can't stand being tickled."_

_The white hamster tickled him for a minute more and then stopped, becoming a bit serious. "Hamtaro," she said, with a slight frown. "Do you think we'll be together forever?"_

_"Of course Bijou..." He wrapped his arms around her. "As long as there's a sun in the sky we'll stay by each other's side..."_

Bijou never forgot those words. They always haunted her mind. The sun never shined as brightly since the duo broke up; there were always clouds in the sky to block it.

But the white hamster would never let herself believe that that occurred because they broke up. No, not at all. Love defiantly did not control the weather. The weatherman did that...

Bijou sat up in her cage; looking around. The sun hadn't even risen yet. The stars twinkled in the night sky.

But she didn't want to go back to sleep. She didn't want to have another one of those dreams; another one of those horrible flashbacks. Love was a complete lie. Love was not eternal. No, it was not at all.

It was only something to draw you away from reality. It was only something to make you hurt in the end. It was only a distraction; there was no such thing as 'true love'.

And what she and Hamtaro had defiantly wasn't it.

Deep down, she really didn't care to patch things up with the orange and white hamster. Deep down, she was actually still mad at him. The heartbreak; the upset...she had never truly forgave him for what he did.

He gave her one of life's most precious gifts...and then just taken it away!

It was a crime. It was wrong. She had no intention of ever getting back together with that back-stabber. He, unlike anyone else, had hurt her in the one place that hurt the most. He had broken her heart; he had shattered her dreams. Just when she thought she had finally figured things out; just when she thought she knew the meaning to life everything was proven wrong!

Facts were proven fiction; the truth turned into a big lie. Life could seem so pointless to her at times...but it wasn't.

Through it all, she had kept herself together; she had kept a smile. Things would get better...she knew they would...and they were. Friendships were coming back together; happiness was being found...

Or was it?

What was happiness? Bijou now had no idea what true happiness was. Was it that warm, careless feeling she had felt when she was madly in love? Or was it something else? What was a true friend? What was the truth?

She had no clue. She had no clue at all. She was helpless; she was scared. She didn't want to love again; she didn't want to forgive. She wanted to forget. She wanted to run away from all her problems. She wanted a fresh start. She wanted something new. She didn't want to face her fears; she wanted to forget they even existed.

She sighed to herself. But she couldn't do that. She had to be better than that; she had to be stronger. Thoughts crossed through her mind that she thought she would never think of.

She wouldn't give up...she'd hold on. She promised she would! And a friend never broke their promise. She'd never break her promise to herself!

Time flew by and soon morning came. With new motivation, the white hamster hopped out of her cage, and rushed off to the one place she dreaded most: Hamtaro's house.

**Final Notes:** _Well, another chapter. It's pretty simular to the others though. More flashbacks, more thoughts, more delays. But as for you Hamtaro/Bijou fans, I'm sure you enjoyed the flashback/dream part of this chapter. I promise next chapter Bijou **WILL** talk to Hamtaro. She won't back away! As for now, you'll just have to wait. Thanks for reading this chapter and sorry if there are any grammer or spelling mistakes. I read it over once and it looked pretty good to me...but looks can decieve...._


	18. Facing Fears

**Chapter 18: Facing Fears...**

_"Her mascara was smeared; her eyes covered in tears. Her red ribbon had no reason to sparkle anymore..."_

**Author's Note:** _I told you it wasn't going to be a long wait for the next chapter! Two chapters in one day! Wow wee....I could even do three at this rate...._

**Disclaimer: **_I do not own Hamtaro or any of the other characters. So there! =P_

A red ribbon sparkled as the white hamster stood at the front of Hamtaro's owner's home. She frowned a bit, and took several deep breaths. Was she really going to go through this?

She gulped and nodded.

This time, she wasn't going to walk away. She took a couple steps forward, over to the back of the house where Brandy was. She frowned a bit more. She had completely forgotten about that evil dog. He'd nearly tear her to pieces if she got caught by him.

She sneaked passed his dog cage, to hear almost silent snoring. He was still sleeping...what a relief! She headed a bit forward, trying to figure out how to get in. That was until a familiar voice addressed her.

"What are you doing here?" it asked. "I thought you hated me."

The white hamster quickly turned around to the source of the sound. An orange and white hamster stood right next to her, wearing a frown on his face.

"Hate you?" she asked, a bit surprised he had made that accusation. "I don't hate you...where did you ever get that idea?"

The hamster frowned a bit more. "You don't have to lie, Bijou. I heard you the other day."

And then it snapped. He had heard her outburst. Her eyes widen. "I-I didn't mean it, Hamtaro. I don't really hate you...I-I..." her eyes teared up. "I just don't know!"

"Don't know?" he asked, his voice sounding dull and emotionless...as usual. "Well, maybe you should start knowing."

"Stop it!" she hissed, wiping away more tears. "You're always like this! You don't even care at all! Nothing matters to you...you're just selfish. You're just mean! You're just cruel...you're right, Hamtaro! I do hate you!!" The white hamster couldn't stand anymore of this. She quickly ran off, in tears, leaving the orange and white hamster alone.

He stood frozen, just watching her. Her words stuck to his head like they had been stapled; attached; only in the most painful way. Was he really...cruel? Was he really...mean? What had happened? His face grew a bit pale, as he continued to stare out into the distance in the direction the white hamster had went.

Bijou ran into the Clubhouse, shutting the door behind her. Her mascara was smeared; her eyes were covered in tears. Her red ribbon had no reason to sparkle anymore.

The other Ham-Hams' eyes widen. "Like what happened!?" exclaimed a concerned orange and "tiger striped" hamster, walking over to her friend.

Bijou swallowed hard. Everyone had seen her; everyone had some clue. She slowly walked over to the table, as a big-eared hamster offered her a tissue. "Here," he said, in a gentle voice. "Now wipe your tears and tell us why you're crying in the first place."

The white hamster did as she was told, wiping her tears at first, and then fixing her eye make-up. As the others kept a close eye on her she heaved a couple of sighs. She didn't want to tell.

But she had too. This would be easier then before, wouldn't it?

"I-I..." the white hamster stuttered on the words. "I went to talk to Hamtaro..."

Immediately, the males were pulled away from the conversation. This was a girl thing...

The two female hamsters leaned in closer to their friend, a bit eager to know more.

"And he said that I said I hated him..." Bijou frowned a bit more. "I told him I never said that and then he said he heard me when I did and I didn't mean it and then he acted like he didn't care so I got mad and I yelled at him and I said I hated him again!!" she panted a bit after finishing her long run-on sentence.

The girls' eyes widen. "You hate Hamtaro?" the one with the red scarf asked. "I thought you were head over heels for him..."

"That was _BEFORE_ they like broke up," the other one explained, it being pretty obvious.

"Oh...well...Bijou," the hamster with the red scarf looked between Bijou and then back to the orange 'tiger striped' hamster. "You deserve better." She finished.

"Yeah!" the other one said in agreement. "Hamtaro's a jerk!"

"Do I agree more than ever," another 'tiger striped' hamster walked over to the three girls with a big smirk on his face. "Bijou, baby, you deserve someone better...like me..."

"Stan!" the first 'tiger striped' hamster exclaimed. "Like stay out of this, okay!?"

"Why should I?" Stan asked, narrowing his eyes. "And since when are you da boss of me, Sandy? Bijou here is hurt. Can't I help cheer her up?"

"You like don't understand Stan!" his twin exclaimed. "You aren't a girl so like get out!"

"That's no way to treat your brother..."

"That's no way to treat your sister and her friends..."

"Weirdo!"

"Idiot!"

The two siblings were at it again.

"Some things never change," the hamster with the scarf commented, twirling the ends of the red silk around her paw.

The white hamster nodded in agreement.

"Loser!"

"Loser yourself, Stan!"

"STOP IT YOU TWO!" exclaimed the big-eared hamster, trying his best to bring peace between the two.

"You like stay out of this, Maxy!" Sandy frowned. "I wanna settle this like once and for all!"

"No way am I going to let you do that, Sandra." Maxwell crossed his arms.

"LISTEN TO ME YOU PERVERT!" exclaimed Sandy, enraged. "DON'T YOU EVER LIKE CALL ME THAT! AND DON'T YOU EVER LIKE GET INVOLVED WITH ME AND MY BROTHER'S AGRURMENTS! IT LIKE TOTALLY DOESN'T INVOLVE YOU! SO DO ME A FAVOR AND GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!" she panted at the end of her outburst, watching the speechless big-eared hamster react to it.

"Sandy I had no clue-"

"Just go Maxwell..." she replied, still panting.

The big-eared hamster frowned and walked out of the Clubhouse, as a single tear fell down his cheek. "If that's what you really want Sandy..." he whispered. "If you really love someone...you let them go..."

Sandy just watched speechless as well. Stan frowned a bit, suddenly feeling very guilty. This was all his fault...

Bijou's eyes remained widen. Sandy and Maxwell's relationship had come so close to breaking apart before...but this was it. It was really the end...wasn't it?

Silence covered the Clubhouse, as the door closed. It was a couple of minutes before anyone spoke a word.

"So," Sandy said, a bit discomforted with the silence. "Where were we?" she asked looking around, as the others stared at her. It was going to be a long day...

Bijou frowned a bit. "We were-"

She was interrupted.

"Sandy," Stan said, with a slight frown. "We need to talk..." he took his sister's paw and dragged her out of the Clubhouse. Before he left, he looked over at Bijou with a small smirk on his face. "Don't feel guilty, baby." He said to her, flirting as usual. "As soon as I finish talking to this ham gal, I'll go some place special with you...think of it as our own little date..."

**Final Notes: **_Well Bijou faced Hamtaro didn't she? But only to be hurt even more... Love stinks doesn't it? -laughs a bit- No, they'll probaby get together in the end. Love'll find a way. And besides, life's ironic...much like this story. Who knows what will happen next....or when I'll update it...._


	19. The Turning Point

**Chapter 19: The Turning Point  
**

**Author's Note**: _I'm so sorry for not updating in such a long time. I've had a major case of Writer's Block...that and I started school. I'd like to thank all you reviewers for your...patience and support (Oh yes, and I did read that flame...-narrows eyes- Such nice words...)._

_Pichu Bros. Fan, feel free to use a part of this story in your own. I'd love to see your interpretation of some of the interesting events that... this story has to offer._

_The Samurai, I once again emphasize my apology. Waiting for one of your favorite stories to finally get an update is quite bothersome and time-wasting. I'm sorry I didn't update earlier. I never could get what I wanted to say out._

_And thank you all for the wonderful reviews. Remember, you're my motivation. The more reviews I recieve, the more I am motivated to update sooner (The positive ones. Not the "You're horrible" ones...just so you know...) So without further ado (except for the disclaimer) I present with with Chapter 19! Enjoy!_

**Disclaimer:** _I do not own Hamtaro or any of the other characters._

Endless hours seemed to flow. The white hamster rested peacefully in the Clubhouse, beneath a pile of pillows that had once been home to a hamster named Snoozer. What had happened to him anyway? That, sadly, no one knew.

She had a dreamless sleep; but a much-deserved one. A couple hours later, she woke up to a sudden tapping.

"Bijou," the voice called out, a rather familiar one to be frank. "Bijou, baby, ya can't forget our date!"

The date! It had completely slipped out of her mind...almost literally. She got up and rubbed her eyes. Her "hair" was messed up; her make-up was once again smudged. She frowned. She wanted to beg for five more minutes....just a bit longer for her to catch up with her beauty sleep. She let out an irritated sigh. The pillows were SO comfortable

Still half-asleep, she struggled to her feet (or paws, though it may be a bit confusing to note which two) and walked over to the bathroom. The other hamster just watched, with a slight frown. "Umm...we could always reschedule for tomorrow nite, babe."

"No," she said, from the bathroom door. "Tonight's fine. It's time I moved on anyway" She washed her face quickly and lazily dried it off, reapplying her eye liner and mascara. She took her brush out from underneath the little bathroom sink and fixed her hair. Trading her glittery red ribbon for a shiny violet one, the white hamster sighed at her reflection. Was she really going to go through with this?

She gulped and nodded. She was TOTALLY over Hamtaro. And this was no big deal right? It was just Stan. She knew him for an awful long time...she knew it was nothing serious. She'd just "play along". She'd be polite, eat dinner, and then go home. Simple enough, right?

No.

She frowned. Why was she feeling so guilty? Why did she have a strange feeling she belonged to someone else? She shook her head quickly. Of course she didn't. She WASN'T Hamtaro's and she never was or will be. She put her paws behind her back. Heck, she'd be happy to see the little orange and white hamster fall down a cliff by now.

And besides, she reassured herself. Stan was romantic; and so what if he was that way to everyone? At least she'd be treated with respect...as oppose to the mock care Hamtaro had shown her. True affection?

_I think not, _the little white hamster's mind replied.

She walked out of the bathroom, a bit enraged. The "tiger striped" hamster looked to the side. This was discomforting. His date seemed to have a look of aggression on her face. Something deep down told him things weren't going to go well.

He'd just have to prove that little feeling wrong. He smirked. Bijou was a pretty girl, in his point of view. She had that cute little French accent (that even as much as she struggled to hide, she simply couldn't) and always wore a big variety of ribbons. Even though now it was one ribbon, instead of the old look of two, and one side ponytail, as oppose to the silly old trend of two , it was still all good. She pampered herself, and she sure did know how to attract some guys. Stan shook his head. Too many guys had gone after her...and he had too much confidence that he'd win the prize. He grabbed her paw and hurried out of the Clubhouse, onto the spot of the "big event": Acorn Hill.

The place was the same as it usually was. It was a bit darker then usual; considering it was mid-evening but still...it would fit the task. Stan led Bijou to a picnic area he had spent the greater part of the afternoon setting up. Candlelight surrounded the cute little red and white checkered blanket. He finally released her paw and sat down.

She sighed. _Why am I doing this again?,_ she ponder to herself. _To be polite_, she answered, almost immediately. _To prove I don't belong to anyone...that I'm NO ONE's girl! Especially not Hamtaro's_

She winced at the name. Jeez, even with the brief little visit earlier, his cruel words stung like a dagger to the heart. She sighed. Maybe that simile was a bit drastic

It had to be.

His words...they didn't hurt THAT much. She was expecting it. It may of hurt the first time but the second time...no, or was it the third? She had lost count, nor did she care about it to be exact.

_I'm over Hamtaro_, she sternly told herself. _That hamster is going to be OUT of my life even if I have to FORCE him to._

She smiled at Stan. "Wow," she said, looking around. "This place looks _fantastique_!!" She suddenly winced. Stupid French

"Ya think?" Stan sat down, signaling for Bijou to take a seat across from him. She obeyed. Keeping a smile on her face (even if it was a forced one) she marveled at the sight around her.

It was now or never.

She giggled nervously. "Oh Stan," she said, with a bit of mock amazement. "This place is SO amazing" _Keep going _she told herself. "It's so beautiful and so...romantic." She nearly choked on the last word. It was romantic...that was the truth. She wasn't lying...yet. She looked to the side and continued. "You're so" she cut herself off again. _You're almost there!_ her thoughts motivated her. "You're so romantic" _Take it all the way! Prove you're done with Hamtaro. Prove your better than all that!_ "Oh Stan," she said, fluttering her eye lashes. "I love you."

It was a bit of a lie. No, it was a little more then a bit. The fake words of emotion seemed to echo throughout her head. He wouldn't take it that seriously, would he? Her eyes gazed into his. It was a bit of a mistake; a bit of a rushed effort...and yet...it proved she wasn't still in love with Hamtaro.

That was her mission right? To prove she was over him; that she didn't belong to him...and yet deep down, her feeling of guilt continued to grow. Entangling herself in a lie, the white hamster forced some lemonade down her throat.

Stan just stared at her in shock. Unsure how to respond to this, he thought for a minute. Real love? That was so different then what he was used to. He could of taken the compliments, even the 'You're romantic' part but the last one? She loved him? He smirked. This had gone much better than he had planned. "Really, babe?" he asked.

She forced a nod. "Why would I lie?" She probably had all the reasons in the world to.

Stan laughed nervously. "Well err...ya always seemed interested in that Hamtaro dude"

"Me!?" Bijou exclaimed, suddenly enraged again. "Interested in that asshole? NO WAY!"

Stan gulped. She had cussed. The flawless, clean, polite little hamster had just broken her own policy. "Are you okay?" he asked, now very worried.

She had completely lost her 'cool'. Realizing her major mistake, she frowned. "I-I'm so terribly sorry. I didn't mean for it to come out so drastically. Hamtaro and I are on very bad terms. And umm" she hesitated. "I didn't mean to use the bad language either it's just that-"

Stan shook his head. "It's okay." he said, with a shrug. "We all slip now and then"

"Yeah," she giggled nervously. "Some more than others" A feeling of uneasiness came upon her.

"So umm" he frowned, noticing her discomfort and embarrassment. "Where do ya think Cappy is?"

It never hurt to change the subject. "I have no clue," Bijou said, nervously taking another sip of lemonade. "I really hope he's okay though. He has us all quite worried"

"Yeah," Stan frowned. "Sorta sad that we lost some of our close pals, don'tcha think?"

"Well, everyone's different. What happened when I was in France that one summer?" Bijou asked, with a frown. "As soon as I got back everyone was so...changed"

"Oh yeah," Stan frowned. "That was one crazy summer. You're pretty lucky you weren't there...at least you didn't get any crazy side effects"

"Side effects?" Bijou asked, a bit confused.

"I'd rather not get into the details, babe" Stan said. "Some things are better left unknown"

Bijou just simply nodded. "I agree," she said, looking out into the distance. "So err...is Sandy going to talk to Maxwell?"

Stan shook his head. "I have no clue. I tried talkin' to her for like...ever...and she still wouldn't give the dude another chance. My sister is one nut case"

_Like almost everyone else in the Clubhouse_, Bijou thought shaking her head. "I could try talking to her tomorrow. We girls have sort of a...bond thing. We listen."

"And us guys don't?" Stan asked, confused.

"No, we just...understand each other's cases." Bijou shrugged. "Sometimes you men have no clue how much something means in a women's life."

Stan narrowed his eyes. "Sure we do. Me 'n Sandy are twins...we're suppose to be 'psychically' connected."

The white hamster sighed. "Ugh...nevermind." She said. "You wouldn't understand"

"Try me-"

"Stan look!" the white hamster interrupted pointing towards a shooting star in the night sky. She stood up and giggled a bit.

The "tiger striped" hamster got up and walked beside her. He placed an arm around her.

"Ya know Bijou...there's only one thing that would make tonite perfect."

"What?" Bijou asked, a bit oblivious to what he had in mind.

"This," he simply said, bring his face closer to hers.

A tear fell. She couldn't do it. She couldn't bring herself to it. She was deep enough in her own lies. "Stan," she said, softly, backing away. "I can't do this...not yet"

"What'dya mean?" he asked. "You said you loved me. Why can't I give you a kiss?"

"I-I really don't know," Bijou frowned. "It just doesn't feel right."

"Ignore your feelings and make an exception. It's just one kiss Bijou. One meanin'less kiss."

"Exactly." Bijou sighed. "Nothing can ever be truly serious between you and any girl. I'm sorry Stan. But no matter what, you'll always be one thing."

"What's that?" he asked, glaring at her.

"A big flirt," she answered, turning away and walking back home.

The "tiger striped" hamster watched at her in shock. The words hit him hard. He never really thought of himself as being what Bijou had just announced. Nothing could be serious between him and ANY girl? Feeling a bit unusually heartbroken, he looked away. Was that what everyone thought? He'd have to wait until tomorrow to find out.

**Final Notes:** _Err...I thought it was a pretty interesting chapter. Oh well...I'm sorry once again for any spelling or grammer problems...there's just some things a writer can't catch...Please review. I have no clue what to write next. Any suggestions?_


	20. To Begin Anew!

**Chapter 20: To Begin Anew!**

**Author's Note:** _My goodness! Twenty chapters! That's unreal! I never thought this story would go this far, and I'm a bit sad to say that isn't going any further. I've loved writing this story, and it's been fantastique to see the great reviews, but all good things have to come to an end. This is the last real chapter in the story. There will be one more after this but that will be the wrap the show up that the story started with. I will write another story soon enough, as soon as I figure out a reasonable topic. Who knows? Maybe I'll add on to this, but center it on a different person (to be honest, probably not. I like my interpretation of Bijou's character too much!). Or maybe I'll stick to another show I know loads about. As for now, you get to enjoy the finale of this "show"; the "falling action"; and in the end, the resolution. Thanks for your time._

**Disclaimer:** _I do not own Hamtaro or anything of the sort. Don't be oblivious to the obvious._

Some things are better left forgotten. Bijou wanted almost every detail of her life with the Ham-Hams to be forgotten. She wanted to forget them all. But to her disadvantage she simply couldn't. She could never forget the friendship, the adventures; the changes she and her friends went on and through. She'd never forget the growth, and the sacrifice. Most of all, she wouldn't forget the romance she and a certain Ham-Ham had shared.

Try and try, she would to forget, only to fail. To fail once again in a meaningless task that seemed to lose its worth all-too long ago. Every night she'd wish for him to just disappear. She couldn't forgive. She couldn't bring herself to it. Day and day; and during sleepless nights, his insults would stick to her head, bringing her down all-the-more every time they were repeated. She'd bring herself up with self-motivation; self-encourage. It was the least she could do.

Some things in life were simply hard to forgive and forget. You'd never forget some things, right? Right, the white hamster would agree with herself.

Her little paws made their way on the moist grass as she walked towards her luscious home. It was another conflict to add on to the great pile of predicaments; what had happened that night; but yet, she felt somewhat accomplished. Bringing the truth to someone who was oblivious to it's eyes was something that would eventually have to be done, no matter how cruel. Life was cruel. Reality had too many downfalls.

It was true; she did feel the slightest bit guilty. She_ loved _Stan. Just not in that...warm fuzzy way that she was so unfamiliar with. Perhaps if she had given it a chance it could of bloomed into that; much like the first morning daisy in the warm month of May. She frowned. Maybe she just WASN'T ready for that sort of thing. She was young still. She had plenty of time.

She'd make time.

Life didn't have to be played out in one day. No, she shook her head at the thought. Life was something that was suppose to last for a while...including some of the more rare things about it. It's what made the wait worth it. The dream of romance; the dream of finding yourself and who you really are; the dream of truly being complete...being....happy.

Was she happy?

She didn't know. These thoughts floated through her head as she continued walking home.

Was she complete?

A frown appeared on her face. No, she wasn't. She was lacking; she felt as if something was missing...as if there was still something that needed to be done.

But what?

_Face it Bijou_, she told herself, in those exact words. _You're oblivious yourself to the truth. You forgot to do something!_

She hated that feeling. The feeling that something was left undone that shouldn't have; that feeling that she totally forgot about something that was due...of more of over-due. She continued walking.

It was going to be another sleepless night; that she was sadly sure of. She nearly shut her eyes. She was almost half-asleep now. She made her way over to an all-too familiar hill and sat upon it. She rested her head on the soft green grass, when a sudden voice rang from behind her.

"Like it here, huh?" it asked, as it stepped out of the shadows and made it's way in front of her.

She gulped.

An orange and white hamster took a seat next to her, letting out a yawn as well. No black, just the regular...Hamtaro.

She rubbed her eyes with disbelief.

But there were no lies...no deceiving looks. It was him; in the flesh...almost like he used to be.

"Used to" being the most important part of the sentence.

She sat up and let out another yawn herself. "Hamtaro?" she asked, looking to the side. "I thought we weren't on good terms," she quickly said, looking away. She was too exhausted to be mad.

"We don't have to be on bad ones," was his response.

Clever comeback. She laughed a bit. "_Oui_, I guess you're right." She winced again. _It's yes, Bijou_, she instructed herself. _Not 'oui'_.

Hamtaro found himself laughing a bit. "So umm..." he hesitated. "This place brings back lots of great memories, doesn't it?"

"Do you want to know the honest truth?" Bijou asked, with a slight frown.

"Umm...okay," he shrugged.

"It really doesn't," she frowned a bit more.

"Why not?"

"Because-" she cut herself off. "I-I really don't know." She did. "Personally, I just don't...remember much from it." Another lie. Sometimes it was better to lie.

"You know we had our first kiss here," Hamtaro acknowledged.

_I'm SO glad you brought it up,_ Bijou sarcastically thought, staring at her ex-boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend? Was that even the right word? How about not-boyfriend-at-all? She liked it a lot better.

"We did?" she answered, acting as if she didn't remember.

"Yep," Hamtaro replied, with a slight frown. "We had our first kiss after staring at the clouds. It was really...nice."

"I suppose..." Bijou shrugged. "A kiss's a kiss, Hamtaro. It doesn't mean all that much."

He looked a bit hurt. "It meant a lot to me..."

Bijou looked down. She didn't want to seem rude, but she was trying really hard to erase the memory. "Could we please change the subject?" she politely asked.

"Bijou," Hamtaro frowned. "We need to talk; and we need to talk about everything! I'm SORRY okay? I know I hurt your feelings. If I couldn't figure it out myself, I had a whole Clubhouse of girls to rub it in my face...and now all the guys too!"

Bijou frowned. "They care that much about me?" she asked, a bit surprised.

"Yes, they do!" exclaimed Hamtaro. "I wouldn't have come out here looking for you if they didn't!"

Silence.

Bijou looked to the side. "It's really nice to have friends that care, isn't it? I have met my share of heartless hamsters and I have to say...meeting one with an actual heart is a real...relief. There's good in this world, right Hamtaro?"

"I guess." It was Hamtaro's turn to have doubts.

But Bijou didn't feel like debating. "Yeah..." she let out a sigh, looking up at the stars. Times like this just made her more uncomfortabled.

"Bijou, I-my...my feelings never changed for you," he finally admitted, looking down.

More discomforting silence.

"Hamtaro," she said, softly and slowly. "I-I'm not too sure about much anymore. My life's been lately. And sadly, I find what you just told me REALLY hard to believe."

And that was the truth. She wasn't lying this time.

"I-I'm serious, Bijou," Hamtaro said, looking down. "I know I've been really...mean lately, but that can change. I'm willing to change...for you. I want what we had back." He immediately grabbed her paws. "And it wasn't until this morning, when I saw that look on your face when you walked away that I truly realized it. You aren't giving up on us now are you?"

"Hamtaro," Bijou frowned. "This...this isn't what I want anymore. There's too much...pain from the last time we were together. I-I don't want to go through it ever EVER again. It really hurt, Hamtaro. You wouldn't know," her eyes narrowed.

"How would you know, Bijou?" Hamtaro asked. "I know it just as well as you do! You think my life's been easy for me!?"

"Non," she replied, using French again. She didn't notice that mistake. "I think all our lives are supposed to be one big enigma with the pieces being life's little conflicts. In the end we receive one big predicament to test ourselves and if we succeed...we...we go to that better place, I suppose," she pointed up to the sky.

"How do we know when the big problem comes?" asked Hamtaro, unsure of what predicament meant. He obviously wasn't there for Maxwell's vocabulary lessons.

"We don't," Bijou frowned. "But won't it feel nice when it's all over, Hamtaro?" she asked. "When we KNOW we've surpassed it."

More vocabulary he didn't know. "Yeah, I guess," he simply answered. "But you never answered my question."

Bijou frowned. "Question?" she asked. "Could you please repeat it?"

Hamtaro looked down. "Look, Bijou, remember when we were together; before you went on that vacation and everything changed?"

She tilt her head. "Hmm..." she said to herself, pretending to think. "You'll need to refresh my memory. No, I don't remember."

He bent over, about to kiss her, when she suddenly backed away.

"I didn't mean that kind of reminder, Hamtaro!" she exclaimed, surprised. "Please just...tell me. You don't have to show me."

"I want to show you. You'll never remember if I don't."

"Do you want the truth?" she paused, watching the other hamster nodded. "Well, I'll tell you. I'll be honest; I'll be true..." she paused once more. After a minute more of silence, she continued. "I do remember, but deep down I really wish I don't..."

He froze.

She looked down. "I-I'm terribly sorry," she said simply. "But that's-that's what I really needed to say to you Hamtaro. You've been on my mind too much. These memories...those memories of us being together..." she said, pointing down at the hill and then up to the sky. "They haunt me. They intrude on my every thought; bother me in every dream. You're very kind; please don't take things like it's you that's the problem. The problem is the risk Hamtaro...it's the risk I'm not ready to take. I don't want to be heartbroken anymore."

"You won't!" Hamtaro exclaimed, squeezing her paw a bit. "I promise, I won't let you!"

"You don't get it Hamtaro." Bijou simply said. "I'm not ready for us to start off like this again. We need a fresh beginning. We need to start over. From the beginning; more then the beginning. I want to forget everything that happened to us before this moment. Please, Hamtaro, if you really...love me," she nearly choked on the words. "Then...then you'll do it. You'll have patience and help me get through this..." Tears poured. "It's a really harsh world, Hamtaro."

She started to cry.

Sometimes tears came natural. Sometimes crying was the best answer. She extended her paw to wipe the tears...only Hamtaro's did it for her.

"I'll always be your shoulder to cry on," he said simply. "Don't forget it, Bijou..."

"You said that when we were together," she said, in between her sobs. "Hamtaro...please..." she bit her lip, wiping her eyes.

"Please what?"

"I want to start over. I can't take this anymore. We-we can start off as friends, Hamtaro." She frowned, and looked away. "Simply...friends..."

"Friends?" Hamtaro frowned. "But is there a chance that...we'll ever be more?"

"I can't say," Bijou frowned, glancing over the orange and white hamster. Tears started to roll down his own eyes. "Only time'll tell." She looked down. "This isn't supposed to be a sad thing, Hamtaro. It isn't like I'm going to France again," she laughed a bit. "We're acting like fools...crying like this..."

Hamtaro wiped a tear and laughed a bit. "Yeah, I guess..."

Bijou shook her head.

He frowned. "Bijou," he said softly. "Before we start over can I just...kiss you one last time? You know...we can't be too...sure I'll get the chance again."

She sighed. "D-d-do you really...want to?" she asked softly, discomforted once again.

"Yeah," he looked down. "It could be your favor for me." He put on a small smile and gave her a soft kiss on the lips. Time seemed to freeze for him.

But for Bijou it had a bit of the opposite effect; she couldn't wait for it be to over. "Hamtaro," she said, softly after.

"Do we really have to start over Bijou?" he nearly whined. "I love you too much! I don't want to forget what we had!"

She nodded. "Please Hamtaro," she looked away. "I could never treat you like I should if we didn't. I could never treat you with respect, Hamtaro. I could never...forgive."

He nearly choked, after hearing what she said. "Okay..." he said softly. "If this is the only way..."

Bijou smiled. "Well, then," she said, rather cheerfully. "Let's start over." She shut her eyes for a minute and then opened them. "_Bonjour, monsieur_! I'm Bijou!" She didn't care about the French this time.

"Hi Bijou, I'm Hamtaro!" the orange hamster put on a small smile. Maybe this wouldn't be as bad as he thought it would be...

The two let out another laugh.

"_To forgive is not to forget; it's to let go of the hurt."_

Everyone has a unique way of forgiving each other. For some it may be a simple apology; for others, it may be something along the more creative lines. But for Bijou Ham-Ham, who seemed to be the one "normal" one of the problem-filled bunch, it was a new beginning; a fresh start.

To begin anew.

**Final Notes:**_ I read this over once. I decided to add more. I really hope the ending didn't seem too rushed in this chapter. I added more so it didn't seem too rushed to me. _

_There are also a lot of "cliff hangers" in this story. They were little twists in the plot that I didn't conclude. What will happen when Bijou testifies in court? What ever did happen to Cappy? I decided to end the one main conflict of this story; the one I've been emphasizing. The main conflict of this story, so I decided, was forgiving the unforgivable event; getting over your first heartbreak. It's been fun writing this "emotional drama". But now it's done...well...almost. I'll add the "Real Thing" TV show ending soon._

_I suppose that all of you readers thought Hamtaro and Bijou would end up together, didn't you? Well...they didn't. Surprise for some, wasn't it? So close...yet so far away. _

_I like surprise endings, don't you...even though some of this wasn't much of a surprise at all. Please mind my bad grammar and spelling if there was any. An author can not catch all of their mistakes. I did the best I could. Thank you for all your time and wonderful reviews! You were my motivation; you kept me going! Maybe I'll write a sequel to this...I'm really not sure what I'm going to write next. All I know is that I finally wrote an ending to this story. Or at least most of one. Your reviews for this chapter are appreciated. But most of all, thanks for reading._


	21. The End Of The Show

**Chapter 21: The End Of The Show**

The lights flashed back on the brown hamster. "Well, well," she said to her viewers, looking away from the screen and back towards the live audience and camera. "That was ANYTHING then what we thought they'd be like, wasn't it?" she smirked her usual glamorous Hollywood smile.

The audience cheered with approval. Some chanted the name of the TV show again and again, others whistled, and some simply clapped. It was a total success.

"I thought you all would enjoy that," the host said, winking. "Well, first of all, we didn't get this footage alone. Allow me to introduce Cappy Ham-Ham! C'mon out, darlin'! Don't be shy!"

The regularly-capped hamster came out; this time with a baseball cap on his head. "Hey!" he said to the audience waving.

"Can ya believe those Ham-Hams thought you were lost?" the brown hamster asked Cappy, laughing a bit, having a casual conversation with the hamster, even on camera.

Cappy shook his head. "I sure had them fooled! I was there the whole time; getting the dirt on them!"

"Cappy," the host explained to the confused viewers and live audience. "Was in charge of our hidden camera. It was his idea in the first place..."

"Yeah, us Ham-Hams are one interesting bunch..."

"Just perfect for reality TV," the host added.

"You bet!" Cappy said in agreement.

"Well," she said, noticing the time was running low. "That wraps up another episode of the Real Thing! Next time we sneak into the lives of those elusive hamster chefs. Is cooking really their life?" she asked, with a hint of mystery in her voice.

The crowd cheered once more, as the lights faded and the cameras flicked off. Another episode of the Real Thing finally ended as the last thing shown on the screen was the famous host's glittering smile.

**Author's Final Notes:** _These are the final notes; the last I'll be writing for this story. I'd like to take the time to thank all you reviewers! Thanks for all your motivation! I'd like to thank all of you that offered so many great suggestions! I'd love to read your stories as well! You strengthen your own writing by reading others. Every compliment brought a smile to my face. Though this story seemed depressing, I myself really am not in real life. I just like emphasizing emotion. Life isn't always a glorious day of sunshine. The point of this story was to show it wasn't. Everyone has problems in their own life that need to be overcomed. But the reward is worth it, I can guarantee you! Don't give up on any of your dreams...no matter how far-stretched they are. Keep a smile on your face during life's tough times. There's a rainbow at the end of the life's dark scary tunnel waiting for you; there's the stars glittering in the night sky. Things can always be worse, I can assure you. Be thankful for what you have. And don't be scared. Life's a scary thing, I must admit, but there's comfort...even on that cold rainy day._

_And now, the two words you've all been waiting for all along:_

_.:The End:._


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